Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Hmmmm
Hello!
Haha! This is an uninteresting a.k.a boring article.
Ok. I was feeling at a very low, emotionally tired. I would not be very badly tired by my tired body, but psychology works best against me. I was feeling that this environment dosen't really suit me, so I decided to go back to Maris Stella, the place where I spent 10 years of my life.
When I went back, I really felt old. All these younglings streaming out of school, with only me and my friend in jc. Then, I met many friends that I have not seen in a long time, as old as me and younger than me. It pleases me that they have matured a little more. It brought back many dear and wonderful memories and some not so nice. Anyway, it was a nostalgic experience.
Even the teachers were changed. No one remains the same forever And they all reminded me of the o's. I was pretty stress. Then, I met Swee and went to his house. Played a little while with old classmates. Pretty happie then. I went to church. Then, as usual, some parts of it was alien to me. During mass, I was very distracted. I couldn't help but think of all my worries, guilt etc. After mass, I left to be on my own. Who knew I would meet some people I know of. Then, I realised I was holding onto the past. Yes, it was perhaps a nice dream. But, could it be allowed ro dictate my life? So, should I throw it away? The past gave me everything that is not in the present. Lessons learned, skills acquired, what I have came from the past, not to mention another 4 years. As such, what am I to do? There was a lingering pain and fear of losing things. But what God freely gave should be freely given back. Plus the present is what we have only; the past is gone; and the future is not certain. Hence, I thought perhaps that the past is not to be forgotten, but to look back to constantly and not throw it away.
And I'm pretty sure that we were attracted or in love at least once in our lives. For me many times happen, but no girlfriend yet as I'm too shy. But looking to our elders, especially to our parents, one would think that theyare physically and emotionally similarto us. How did they stay together for so many years despite their differences. Thank God for our parents.
I was thinking of the holy Trinity. Many Christians say that there is no Trinity and that we are tritheist, not monotheist. But, have you ever thought that God is an entity of unimaginable complexity, too great for us to hold in our minds? Can He do what we cannot? God is the most subtle being ever created, for everthing came from him. All He does may be strange, but the underlying reason is love. Remember the Tower of Babylon? In spite of globalisation and English becoming well common, the effect still continues today. English is assimilated but changed. Plus, many peoples still cling to their mother tongue and each person wih their own “frequency”. I think of it as something bad with a blessing. Well... we cannot understand every one, but it brings about humility and diversity. Haha! The world is not boring, but it is whether we choose to listen closely for the music.
The Lord is indeed poweful. Numerous people worship the one true God under different names and ways. But, perhaps, there is only one proper way! Either way, I'm no theologian. Even.if they do not worship him, they have been affected by a large extent. But we should realised that only the will of God works through us. We really do nothing. We have no right to say what the will of God. And we should always peel our ears for the message of the Lord.There's always something for us.
Many of times we feel pain and don;'t want to do what we perceived to be painful. But, do we reaised that it did not hurt us although there is actually little pain? Experience tells us that ripping the plaster( not till the extent of a new wound) is much better that slowly peeling out. But why do I always take the other way? At such times, I pray:
Lord, it hurts. Let Your will be done. But please give me the grace to take this cup.
It is rather effective. It even brought back a smile to an almost tearing face and a laugh to a silent voice. We as Catholics should put prayer into actions. Everything we do should be accompanied with a prayer, even the smallest act, lest we sin. This I fail nost of the time. The Lord does not demand that we be perfect, but try to be perfect. Life is all about change, work and the experience. We have to continually change an stive to become lke God. If we always take the easy way, we deprived ourselves of these as we experience the same things.
When we faik to see God in others, we fail to see God in ourselves. I mean if we think that others are hopeless, what makes us more perfect? This would be utter hipocracy! We are like the Lord, because we are able to love. Not because of our abilities, strengths gifts etc.
We should be a community, not an exclusive club which we thankfully haven't become. Growing together, but taking our separate paths. But all roads end at the same destination. So don't worry!
Phew! I end here.
Cini
ps. I don't know if I'm right.
Hmmmm
Hello!
Haha! This is an uninteresting a.k.a boring article.
Ok. I was feeling at a very low, emotionally tired. I would not be very badly tired by my tired body, but psychology works best against me. I was feeling that this environment dosen't really suit me, so I decided to go back to Maris Stella, the place where I spent 10 years of my life.
When I went back, I really felt old. All these younglings streaming out of school, with only me and my friend in jc. Then, I met many friends that I have not seen in a long time, as old as me and younger than me. It pleases me that they have matured a little more. It brought back many dear and wonderful memories and some not so nice. Anyway, it was a nostalgic experience.
Even the teachers were changed. No one remains the same forever And they all reminded me of the o's. I was pretty stress. Then, I met Swee and went to his house. Played a little while with old classmates. Pretty happie then. I went to church. Then, as usual, some parts of it was alien to me. During mass, I was very distracted. I couldn't help but think of all my worries, guilt etc. After mass, I left to be on my own. Who knew I would meet some people I know of. Then, I realised I was holding onto the past. Yes, it was perhaps a nice dream. But, could it be allowed ro dictate my life? So, should I throw it away? The past gave me everything that is not in the present. Lessons learned, skills acquired, what I have came from the past, not to mention another 4 years. As such, what am I to do? There was a lingering pain and fear of losing things. But what God freely gave should be freely given back. Plus the present is what we have only; the past is gone; and the future is not certain. Hence, I thought perhaps that the past is not to be forgotten, but to look back to constantly and not throw it away.
And I'm pretty sure that we were attracted or in love at least once in our lives. For me many times happen, but no girlfriend yet as I'm too shy. But looking to our elders, especially to our parents, one would think that theyare physically and emotionally similarto us. How did they stay together for so many years despite their differences. Thank God for our parents.
I was thinking of the holy Trinity. Many Christians say that there is no Trinity and that we are tritheist, not monotheist. But, have you ever thought that God is an entity of unimaginable complexity, too great for us to hold in our minds? Can He do what we cannot? God is the most subtle being ever created, for everthing came from him. All He does may be strange, but the underlying reason is love. Remember the Tower of Babylon? In spite of globalisation and English becoming well common, the effect still continues today. English is assimilated but changed. Plus, many peoples still cling to their mother tongue and each person wih their own “frequency”. I think of it as something bad with a blessing. Well... we cannot understand every one, but it brings about humility and diversity. Haha! The world is not boring, but it is whether we choose to listen closely for the music.
The Lord is indeed poweful. Numerous people worship the one true God under different names and ways. But, perhaps, there is only one proper way! Either way, I'm no theologian. Even.if they do not worship him, they have been affected by a large extent. But we should realised that only the will of God works through us. We really do nothing. We have no right to say what the will of God. And we should always peel our ears for the message of the Lord.There's always something for us.
Many of times we feel pain and don;'t want to do what we perceived to be painful. But, do we reaised that it did not hurt us although there is actually little pain? Experience tells us that ripping the plaster( not till the extent of a new wound) is much better that slowly peeling out. But why do I always take the other way? At such times, I pray:
Lord, it hurts. Let Your will be done. But please give me the grace to take this cup.
It is rather effective. It even brought back a smile to an almost tearing face and a laugh to a silent voice. We as Catholics should put prayer into actions. Everything we do should be accompanied with a prayer, even the smallest act, lest we sin. This I fail nost of the time. The Lord does not demand that we be perfect, but try to be perfect. Life is all about change, work and the experience. We have to continually change an stive to become lke God. If we always take the easy way, we deprived ourselves of these as we experience the same things.
When we faik to see God in others, we fail to see God in ourselves. I mean if we think that others are hopeless, what makes us more perfect? This would be utter hipocracy! We are like the Lord, because we are able to love. Not because of our abilities, strengths gifts etc.
We should be a community, not an exclusive club which we thankfully haven't become. Growing together, but taking our separate paths. But all roads end at the same destination. So don't worry!
Phew! I end here.
Cini
ps. I don't know if I'm right.