Thursday, April 28, 2011
Hello guys. Been wanting to post this since Sunday but i didn't really have the time till now! So better get it down before i forget what i want to say.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hello everyone,
Rice here. I haven't been around, and it's because of yes, dance. Over the past few weeks, I have more or less decided that it's a career I want to pursue. I have never been this sure, never been this motivated and driven before. And the past few weeks dance-wise have been pretty good.
I am writing this post to be accountable to you guys. I am not going to be around for Sunday sessions, because of dance. I have been trying my very best to discern the whole situation, and am still in the process of discerning (I guess it's a never-ending process). My relationship with God is good actually :) I'm more worried about my relationship with LOG. I personally believe being a logger is so much more than attending Sunday sessions (although it makes things a lot easier :() so I'm going to try my best to bridge the gap that Sunday sessions will bring. I do miss spending Sundays with you guys. Sunday afternoons studying with loggers might seem like such a routine/insignificant event, but those FEW afternoons I had no dance, and could just spend my whole Sundays with you guys, to me, were really special. I miss that. Of course I've been asking myself if I've made the right decision, and of course I still do not know. All I know is that at this point in time, thinking of dance as my future career, this is something I need to do. Whatever happens after that, I'll just take it as it comes.
So I'm going to try my best, but I am just laying it out here so that you guys can understand. I do not want to meet you guys feeling guilty like I am hiding something from you all. I WANT to make this work, I want to continue building and maintaining the relationships I found so much joy in. But yeap, I'm not going to be able to be around for Sundays at least for quite awhile. It is a constant struggle for me I feel, at least for a few years now, to situate LOG in my life, like LOG never came on a silver platter for me. My sundays always seem to be fought over by my various commitments. I don't know how to quite put it in words, just know that I struggle, but I want to make it work. I think that will suffice for now :)
Hope all of you have been having a good week, all the best to those having exams!
Remember that Jesus died for you, and just by nature of that, your life is much bigger than stupid exams :)
Love,
Rice
Monday, April 25, 2011
Hi LOG :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk28J2sFsTo
This song has been stuck in my head and the lyrics ring true.
"If our days could be filled with small rebellions, senseless brutal acts of kindness from us all"
I'm always thinking about what the other person's reaction will be and trying to be as tactful as I possibly can, but that usually ends up with me doing absolutely nothing. SO. In the joy of easter, I shall challenge myself to do senseless brutal acts of kindness.
Have a good week!
Friday, April 22, 2011
i fought with my mom. again. on the worst day of the year. when i couldnt find solace from the adoration room. and everything felt empty, even the church. there wasnt anything or anywhere to hide and take shelter in. prolly how the disciples felt at that time as well, when the master was taken away from them.
every time i fight with my mom, i am convinced she doesnt get my point and she doesnt understand what im getting at. her accusations were true: that i read so much (theology/philosophy to get to the heart of truth) and try to understand catholicism/god/truth/love and everything else abstract, i thought i knew alot more than she did. all this while i thought it was my duty to challenge her to live out my own idealistic notion of love. being stubborn and horribly honest, i am always torn between making her feel better and being true to what i was actually feeling. today she demanded that i apologise and she said she can only forgive me if i apologise. she was sitting down so i had to lean down for a hug of reconciliation, but i did not return her gesture. it was when she said 'why didnt you hug me? you cant even pretend to be sorry?' that really shook me and made me recognise how absolutely horrible i was. my own self-righteousness and pride was disgusting. all along i thought i was right. my mom wasnt the model mom, and i had to fix it. but now, i was forced to question myself if i was really right.
i read a reflection that day. it was on the last supper when jesus said that one of the disciples was going to betray him. jesus obviously knew who and how exactly it was going to happen. and the reason why he said it out loud was so that they could search their conscience and be more critical of their own actions. to come to that realisation was painful, yet it was necessary. during stations, i could barely read the passages cos it held so much of god's message for me. to obey the person he put in charge of me. and to be brave and courageous in offering comfort and wiping away tears. and many others in the many stations.
maybe i grasp the theological aspect better than others. but it is shameful to admit i have consciously ignored the voice of god many many times. because i cannot die to myself. not only today, but in many other instances that were brought to mind throughout the day. after which, my self-reproaches left me further depressed. but then, another message, subtle and easily missed, from the stations always countered those thots. it reminded me: never think that your sinfulness is greater than the love of christ.
von.
i posted it on fb but i figured i'll post it here too! i think it's pretty interesting, note the vertical and horizontal axis. (:
Thursday, April 21, 2011
maundy-ness
tonight there was something missing in me as i came before Christ. Not really caring was troubling me at he same time.
Then i remember the grieve which is very essential to any catholic spirituality. Not shirking from grieve & disappointment is something we all have to bear, no matter how painful it is.
At first i remember what makes me sad, what made me sad. not everything, but a good part of it i imagined.
Then i remember or imagined some of what makes others sad. bother that is the people close to me.
Then i was brought to what could make people i don't know sad and hurtful. To know that Jesus held the brokenness of the world.
How much i wanted to change in my life but wasn't possible even if i brought about a very very big stick. For a moment i was embraced. Then i was strengthened by the need for God who is the way through it all.
good night
dom
Sunday, April 17, 2011
HELLO;)
HI FRIENDS :)
Guess who?! HAHAHAHA :) Everyday I'm shufflin'! Biggest clue!
THAT'S RIGHT; ALEX! HAHA!
Okay, I'm sane. Hello everyone, this is probably only my second time posting here. I'm super dee duper tired, like literally, my eyes are closing! But yeshhh, I'm gonna sleep soon so I thought I'd just brighten your lives with a song! So I was stoning in Ado (as usual) and (as usual) a song appeared in my head! So "Now that you're near" let the song drift into your ear! Have a great week guys!
lovelovelove, ALEX!
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Hi guys, Soo here. Just got back from the passion play practice and supper and I feel really strongly about this so I think it has to be said. I think first off I gotta affirm those who turned up for the practice, it's a Friday night and most of us have exams coming up, and it's not easy to make time for something that seems so unconnected and unrelated to us.
I apologise in advance for any feathers I might ruffle in this post but I felt that this has to be shared, if you have anything to say (or feel a need to be vindicated) please approach me personally! I guess I left the practice with a huge sense of disappointment. After Mark Tang's constant reminders and Swee's semi speech last week after the first incident I expected the response today to be much more encouraging. Maybe it was my expectations being set too high, or maybe I was being too judgmental, but I was disappointed with LOG today.
Let me try to put things into perspective, for those of you who don't have any clue of what I'm talking about - basically we (the youth) have been asked by Fr. Bosco to help out in the Good Friday Passion Play for the outdoor stations of the cross, which is normally done by the altar boys. We're working with the Children's Liturgy and Altar Boys to help Fr. Bosco re-enact Jesus' passion, with some of us playing the soldiers, apostles, the angry crowd etc. Today was our second practice, which was held in place of our normal bible sharing, and is the last practice before the actual event on Friday.
I guess my main feeling comes from the fact that so many of us can come down on normal bible sharing Fridays, but yet when we are called to serve in a larger community (by our very own parish priest no less) we choose to shirk our duty and stay away. For me, it boils down to selfishness. The reason why we can come so willingly for bible sharings is because we receive. We receive the fellowship, the support and love that we are looking for after a long week at school. However, when it comes to a parish project, it seems harder to commit and be a cheerful giver - by the very reason that we are not receiving (as much, or not at all, compared to bible sharing), but rather having to give while seemingly being given nothing in return. I am guilty of this too, which explains my feeling of resentment and anger last week when I was arrowed to play John, Jesus' disciple. I guess sometimes we are too focused on what we call LOG love, but we forget something so much more bigger and more important - Church love, the love for our Church, whom each of us are called to serve, before and over whatever community/ministry we belong to. Main point of this being, sometimes we forget that what Jesus calls us is to love, and to love is to die to oneself. I'll let you figure out what this means in relation to this little event.
Liver's session last week showed me the power of acting out Jesus' passion and death, and I really believe that this Passion Play will touch the lives of many, but only if it is done with the right spirit and disposition. Honestly, this whole Passion Play is NOT going to work/have any effect/fail miserably if the youth are not there. Think about it, the others serving in this are the Altar Boys and Children's Liturgy kids, and they do not have the maturity to take this seriously as we do. Sometimes, we forget that we are called to be role models for the younger ones in the church, and one way we can do so is to show each and everyone there how to cultivate the right spirit in engaging in this parish activity. I really feel sorry for Fr. Bosco and the adults of the Children's Liturgy (remember they are probably more busy than us, even when we have exams) who have spent so much time and effort preparing the props and costumes, and I really don't want all their efforts to go to waste. I guess the point of this paragraph is to show you the practical side of things, that even if you don't agree with me regarding how we are called to serve the larger church and community, I hope that you'll see the dire need to why WE as a youth community HAVE to be there to participate and to lead the others in this aspect.
My point of this post is not to condemn, nor is it to make you guys feel guilty. It is only a call for each and everyone of us in this community of Leaven of God to ask ourselves this one question - Do we love Him enough to be able to sacrifice our time so that His glory can be revealed this Friday? I just ask that we put aside our excuses (I can't act/I don't see the purpose of this/Why must the youth be involved/etc), and just BE THERE on Friday to truly serve the Church in our acting and portrayal of Jesus' passion and death. I pray that many people will be touched by Him through this Passion Play, and that we ourselves may be able to gleam the depths of His love for us.
Love, Soo.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Well, sitting around during session, clicking... with no voice... gave me time to think. time to listen. So here is my short reflection.
Monday, April 11, 2011
this was smtg i posted on my tumblr yday:
just thought i should post my thoughts on today. at the end of session, mark tang asked: was that real or acting? and i have no answer to that. hur. when i was in syd drama we had this exercise where we were asked to express our emotions, tt’s equals to ‘force yourself to cry in a sad scene’. i did tear, but after today, i am quite sure that was acting then. today was some serious business. if you realise, if i cry when i share, i nv get to finish my sentences and i always hold back my tears. but just now was different. my sentences came out perfectly pronounced, scripted in my head. and yet the emotions were real. (the buildup helped) it was some awesome experience/experiment truth be told. this must be what awesome actors go through with every different story. i know. sometimes i think it is immoral to use your own emotions to perfect an act. afterall, acting is fake. why put something so real, so raw in it? but i know i didnt use it for self-fulfilment. it was a genuine message i wanted you guys to know. and this helps me to be moral. even in the grey areas.
then today i was fb-surfing and i found this:
http://badcatholicblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/be-awesome.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FZlvDi+(BadCatholic)&utm_content=Google+Reader
'our Church has brought the world the best literature, art, architecture, music and life it has...'
therefore, guys, be awsm
:D
Sunday, April 10, 2011
old song but this song keeps coming back to me, whenever im frustrated, this song lifts me up, right from the first line. just thought i'd share it with you guys :) btw liver great session today. please pray for me and raph and bel too haha our exams start this week! :)
<3 joel
Friday, April 08, 2011
Sick
Hey guys, been sick this entire week. Real bummer. Now I just feel a bit weak. Whats worse is that I been giving myself excuses to not do stuff. Not study, not go to school, not go for mass. Wasting another precious week away esp before my 3ple exam date. Save me.
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Known
Hi guys
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
my trip down to gardens
i think maybe i got a little confused with the reflection question, but it still helps! I wrote that living my life as a prayer means "Choosing and doing things I want in my life with the blessing of God, knowing that it's aligned to God" because that day particularly i struggled with the choices and decisions that i make for myself, that im aware its not always what i truly want. maybe because other people's needs are more pressing, or im just too afraid to do what i want? and its hard to find where God fits into this picture sometimes. so i just wish that sometimes i get to do the things i want to do, with the knowledge that God is supporting me. a little ideal situation in my head but yeah.
and in a way, i did get to do what i wanted. i went down to gardens, i deposited my cheque and i bought myself a pair of slippers. along the way i met greg and mark chong, so we had ice cream too. but i still managed to achieve the things that i wanted. so in a way i guess, living my life as a prayer means that amidst all the noise, i surrender my own needs and wants to God. to be comfortable with making choices for myself at times, and putting myself second before others at others, and perhaps the wisdom to know when to do either :) good session, should have more of these. hahahaha
love joel
Monday, April 04, 2011
Thank you for sharing :)
This is all Soo's fault, I woke up early to go to school early to do work and now I am here reading old blog posts and reminiscing about the past. How much I/everyone/LOG/life has changed. I did find this post, whoever posted it did not sign off though but here is it -
MAYONNAISE JAR and 2 CUPS OF COFFEE
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when
24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of
coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them
into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
Next, the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "YES."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things
-
God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions
- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for
the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that are! important to you.
So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out
to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. "Take
care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
and just to add, write out your list of the 15 most important things in life to you. cancel 12 away starting with 5, then,another 5, then another 2.
so, are you living your life they way you think you should?
Love,
Rice
Sunday, April 03, 2011
Hi Log :) My turn to post.
So for our one hour, I decided I wanted to bake. Thanks to Jes, Maryanne and I made it back to my house to bake. I decided on a really simple recipe and we made cupcakes. Bits of conversations here and there with Maryanne and my maid. Most of the time, I was focussed on getting all the measurements right, the consistency, the sweetness. Mixing all the ingredients together was fun, seeing the colour of the batter change.. Separate ingredients, but one batter. Baking brings me away from the noise of life.
I love baking, it brings a lot of joy. It's something I do when I'm having a bad day or I want some time out from my schedule. I haven't had the time to bake in ages, so finally! Guilt-free freedom to do something I want to do! As I was doing my reflections just now, I realised that I was having an off moment yesterday night/this morning and so having the chance to bake this morning was truly a God-sent gift. It was as though He knew what I needed, He provided and planned those precious 30mins for me. A simple activity, but something I really needed and I was happy to share it with Maryanne since she hardly bakes.
I jotted down "Constant awareness of the heart, spirit and will of God" when we were asked to answer what we thought a life of prayer was. I guess my main takeaway from today's session is to never underestimate simple activities and what God has planned for you in them. Constant awareness.
Jess
finding rest in random bus rides!
heya loggers, haven't been posting here in ages cuz i've been doing so at my personal blog -> 500daysofbummer.tumblr.com (shameless plug i know :D hahaha)
anyway, since jes has made a rallying cry for our experiences of session today to be posted i shall oblige!
most of you should know that i took 317 to sgn int (topped up my ezlink card + bought bubble tea there) and back to church. haha weird/time wasting-ish but i guess that's my form of rest amidst all the noise. i love bus rides where i can just retreat into my own personal space while sitting down despite all the noise and hustle that goes by, and just watch everything go by.
so yes, with that mentality i set off for a peaceful, uninterrupted bus ride to sgn int. but lo and behold, our God (a very funny one) allowed me to bump into shawn yeo (for those who don't know him he's a dude who was from yv, he's studying in aus now and was back for a short while) at the bus stop. i guess i didn't really wanna talk to him because i wanted my own personal time, but he invited me over to sit with him on the bus anyway. was a little reluctant at first, but i'm glad i did. had a wonderful chat about what he studies in aus (restaurant management, which he loves. sounds damn interesting, he was telling me about molecular gastronomy where they use liquid nitrogen to freeze foods and use agar agar to make soup into noodles o_O)
and i guess that was the highlight of my experience today. as much as i didn't feel like talking to him initially, i rmbed what i wrote in response to ricer's question - that i wanted to be free to love, and that meant dying to my own desire of having a quiet bus ride and instead going to talk to a brother in Christ who has been away for a long time. i guess many times i shy away from such social settings, wanting to preserve my own solitude and quiet space, but God reminded today that it is possible to experience Him even in the noise that surrounds us. despite me not having a solo bus ride to myself, i was given the opportunity to love my brother, just by allowing him to share his dreams, hopes and passions for that 20 minutes. and that brings me to a bigger reminder, that we are called to "go and make disciples of all men" (probably not the exact words :/), and not retreat to our own holes to seek God for ourselves. today was a reminder of our first call - to love others as He first loved us, and not just to love oursevles. and in this context i daresay my "noisy" trip there was one that was more loving than my silent solo trip back to church!
so yup, that's about it for my experience in living my life as a prayer, by being aware of God's presence during my rest time amidst the noise! now its your turn to share!
Soo
Hey log! I just realized that this is probably my first time writing on LoG blog I FINALLY KNOW THE USER/PASSWORD hahaha.... ahem. yes.
Hello everyone,
For those who couldn't join us, the theme for session today was Finding God in Rest. Finding Rest in Noise. And so in the process perhaps discovering what it means to live life as a prayer to God.
Here's what you guys wrote regarding what it means to you to live your life like a prayer :) (I hope I didn't read the stuff you guys wrote wrongly, and for the nameless ones I kind of guessed so if I made mistakes please let me know!)
To do little things with great joy - Raphael
Constant awareness of the heart, spirit and will of God - Jess
Having God as my twin brother :) - Melvyn
Believing that everything which happens is part of God's response to my prayers - Sim
To live my life with peace in my heart no matter what - Jes
Love. A love more than this. - Swee
Living my life like a prayer would be being kind and courteous, loving and charitable to others around me - Mark Chong
Resting in mystical presence and experiencing God's revelation - Mark Tang (?)
Being who I really am, and using all the gifts God has given me. To love others freely and receive freely - Andrew
To be able to listen to God speaking in everything around me, be it in words, noise or action - Liver
Choosing and doing things I want in my life with the blessing of God, knowing that it's aligned to God. - Poey (?)
Being in total communion with God - Joan
It would be to just be who I am and to just allow God to show me and bring me through my day - Greg
Difficult. A calm but burning passion - Dominic
To be able to keep God in my thoughts, decisions and feel Him in me through the little things I do each day that are seemingly trivial and unimportant. - Maryanne
To be free to love - joyously, cheerfully, unconditionally - Soo
Thanks for everyone's participation and openness today :) Please remember to do your assignment for tonight!! And yes, thanks jes :) if you guys can/want to, do share how you spent the one hour and how you might have experienced God.
Love,
Rice:)
i went to e park. walked there w smalltsui. chatted a little along e way. then i went to sit in e shaded area w benches. i brought my laptop cos i intended to write, as my form of rest. in my mind, there'd be a nice breeze and i'd happily and smoothly write out smth.
but it was warm and humid. AND THERE WERE MOSQUITOES ._. so yea i couldn't rly write anything much. writing's like tt. gotta hv e inspiration. seems like my muse din't rly want me to write anything.
so i went to swing a while =) e swing was creaky so i felt rly self-conscious. but i'm still glad tt i retained my swinging skills haha. altho it's definitely much easier now tt i hv longer legs than i used to when i was 11 (tho not tt much longer really). when i saw ppl coming into e park, tt was too much shame for me so lol i quickly got off e swing.
walkg back to my usual spot, i realized where tsui was (i din't see him at first) - at some bench at e other corner of e park. lol and i wondered if he saw me swinging. which he did ._. so. haha. oh well.
then i just sat in the bench and daydreamed. i thought abt how i'd like to be on the grand canyon. tt'd be an awesome place to write. i thot abt e small gravel-like stones on e floor and imagined them swirling in e air and streaming away. i thot abt tmr's moot, and prob having to take cab to sch later. i thot abt whether i was properly resting or not. i thot abt how places like these make e world seem a little less screwed up than newspapers purport it to be. i thot abt my dogs and how i like to play w them aft doing too much work at home.
then i saw tsui sitting at e top of e spiderweb thingie. it was ard 12.25 so i walked over and sat down on e lower rung. then we chatted a little while. we saw 317 coming by and i expected to see quite a few ppl dropping off. but no one appeared. after a while, tsui went to grab his bag and we walked back to e log room.
when rice started her session, i liked it immediately. i liked e idea of findg god in little pockets of our day, and in moments apart from e exclusive times tt we set apart for prayer, mass and church activities. cos i think he's present even in all e 'non-spiritual' things tt we do. and we shud be aware of his presence even in those times. but also, i liked it cos i myself relate to tt. i find tt it is in these little pockets - walkg from one place to another, doing some mindless chore, bathing etc - tt i receive e most brilliant inspirations and wonderful ideas. in a sense, those are e moments when i listen e most to god. it's only recently tho, tt i'm directing these moments to him.
so when we journaled, i wrote down a list of stuff tt i do to rest (and find god) and take my mind off e hustle of life. i narrowed it down to 2 options (cos of e limitations of time and resources) - (1) writing, and (2) having a nice chat w a friend. one of them didn't rly happen. i'm glad e other did =)
thx for e awesome session rice! sry for making u buy xiaolongbao haha i HONESTLY (i swear) tot it was just an idea to collect our lunch wishes or smth. lucky i didn't put crab or geylang frog porridge or some other troublesome stuff haha.
mel
HELLO LOG.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Mark of the True Christians
Hello Everyone,
For those who went for bible sharing last night you will know what Soo spoke about right?
For those who didn't please visit Soo's blog.
Anyway, I was doing my daily (trying very very had) reading of the bible and I was at Romans. Then Romans 12 verse 9-21 hit me and I read it and I was pretty amazed. The title of that passage is Marks of the True Christian and it's like really how each and everyone of us as Christians and Catholics are called to be like and it's not something which certain people possess but each and everyone of us.
I remember Soo sharing that he was quite amazed that 1000 Catholic students attended a reparation mass for the people who crashed the Church rather than fighting back and truly they acted in a way they were called to be and how they are supposed to be like.
And if I am not wrong, yesterday the mass reading was about the 2 main commandments and if you think deeper it all comes back to those 2 commandments. To love God with all your heart, mind, soul & strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. I really am quite amazed with God that he asks so little and gives so much.
And just on the side note Soo said that the people of other religions may react differently from us e.g. Muslims so I decided to search it up since I found and know our side of the story. The Muslims too have such a call or an instruction to behave but not as detailed or humbling as ours but they too have that call. It's just the matter of choice and the way you have inculcated your religion into your life I suppose. So yeah, this is my short reflection
See you guys tomorrow =)
Greg
Hello guys. Been wanting to post this since Sunday but i didn't really have the time till now! So better get it down before i forget what i want to say.
So yes, Holy Week. Who would have thought that my Holy Week this year would culminate with such ground-shaking events, barring our examinations of course, which didn't help the least. First of all, I felt rather disturbed that I actually managed to convince myself to give Easter Vigil mass a miss this year to study (for the record, I've never missed Easter Vigil mass all my life). And while you guys were at mass, I was at home, though not in a state of peace. But then, God had other plans. I received a call from Varian telling me to rush down to church, because Estelle had fainted, thereafter which, led to a series of events. Turns out that it was something spiritual that had caused her condition at that time, and it was only by prayer (and God's grace) that she was granted physical and mental restoration.
I shan't delve into the details of what happened, since I shared with everyone who was in church that night. Truth be told, the events of that Saturday night left a massive and lasting impact on me. I was left rather shaken, and at the end of it, really drained of all my energy.
Then came Easter Sunday, and the praise and worship session in the parish hall. Though the music and worship were not particularly uplifting, that session somehow had an effect on me. I started of with a bit of tearing, slowly evolving to the point when i was on the verge of breaking down entirely. Although I may seem like the kind of person that prefers emotion, if you know me well enough, I am still not the sort that will show any visible sign of breakdown. However, for once, I really couldn't control myself.
Desperation. That was the crux of my inner emotions at that time. The deep sense of desperation for God. Thoughts of past events, especially the events of the previous night, came flashing back in my mind. The thought of having someone you love go through such suffering, but not really being able to do anything about it, hurt me. Was the work of the devil within the big plan of God? Is God trying to show me the importance of needing him, and wanting him? Amidst the joy of his resurrection, the pain of sin and suffering continued to scourge through my heart.
And then, Stephen went up and gave his sharing, about the need for God in our lives. For me, that was confirmation. For where can we claim victory over the evil in our lives but through Jesus Christ alone? Amidst the fear of uncertainty, from whom can we seek solace and direction but through him as well? This whole experience turned out to be this year's Easter renewal for me. My journey in faith had been renewed and restarted, from the well of despair.
Maybe that's what our community lacks as well at the moment, a desperate need for God. Maybe we have been trying too hard, for too long, to solve our problems with our own human strength. How often do we feel the pain of someone we love in this community? How often do we pray desperately, or desire God desperately for each other?
The time of renewal has already come guys. Let's aim to renew our community, by trying to empathise with each other better and fortifying this empathy by seeking grace, through desperate prayer, to God.
Love,
Liver
Labels: the meaning of love.
1 Comments:
praise god :D
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Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Hello everyone,
Rice here. I haven't been around, and it's because of yes, dance. Over the past few weeks, I have more or less decided that it's a career I want to pursue. I have never been this sure, never been this motivated and driven before. And the past few weeks dance-wise have been pretty good.
I am writing this post to be accountable to you guys. I am not going to be around for Sunday sessions, because of dance. I have been trying my very best to discern the whole situation, and am still in the process of discerning (I guess it's a never-ending process). My relationship with God is good actually :) I'm more worried about my relationship with LOG. I personally believe being a logger is so much more than attending Sunday sessions (although it makes things a lot easier :() so I'm going to try my best to bridge the gap that Sunday sessions will bring. I do miss spending Sundays with you guys. Sunday afternoons studying with loggers might seem like such a routine/insignificant event, but those FEW afternoons I had no dance, and could just spend my whole Sundays with you guys, to me, were really special. I miss that. Of course I've been asking myself if I've made the right decision, and of course I still do not know. All I know is that at this point in time, thinking of dance as my future career, this is something I need to do. Whatever happens after that, I'll just take it as it comes.
So I'm going to try my best, but I am just laying it out here so that you guys can understand. I do not want to meet you guys feeling guilty like I am hiding something from you all. I WANT to make this work, I want to continue building and maintaining the relationships I found so much joy in. But yeap, I'm not going to be able to be around for Sundays at least for quite awhile. It is a constant struggle for me I feel, at least for a few years now, to situate LOG in my life, like LOG never came on a silver platter for me. My sundays always seem to be fought over by my various commitments. I don't know how to quite put it in words, just know that I struggle, but I want to make it work. I think that will suffice for now :)
Hope all of you have been having a good week, all the best to those having exams!
Remember that Jesus died for you, and just by nature of that, your life is much bigger than stupid exams :)
Love,
Rice
3 Comments:
we'll support ur decision of course =) and there're fridays still! and camps. and waterbomb sessions~ haha.
i "like"
By 
mark.tang,
April 26, 2011 11:25 PM
:) <3
______________________________________________Monday, April 25, 2011
Hi LOG :D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tk28J2sFsTo
This song has been stuck in my head and the lyrics ring true.
"If our days could be filled with small rebellions, senseless brutal acts of kindness from us all"
I'm always thinking about what the other person's reaction will be and trying to be as tactful as I possibly can, but that usually ends up with me doing absolutely nothing. SO. In the joy of easter, I shall challenge myself to do senseless brutal acts of kindness.
Have a good week!
2 Comments:
Btw Love, Tsui
By LoG,
April 25, 2011 12:26 AM
there's a reason why i believe in violence
______________________________________________Friday, April 22, 2011
i fought with my mom. again. on the worst day of the year. when i couldnt find solace from the adoration room. and everything felt empty, even the church. there wasnt anything or anywhere to hide and take shelter in. prolly how the disciples felt at that time as well, when the master was taken away from them.
every time i fight with my mom, i am convinced she doesnt get my point and she doesnt understand what im getting at. her accusations were true: that i read so much (theology/philosophy to get to the heart of truth) and try to understand catholicism/god/truth/love and everything else abstract, i thought i knew alot more than she did. all this while i thought it was my duty to challenge her to live out my own idealistic notion of love. being stubborn and horribly honest, i am always torn between making her feel better and being true to what i was actually feeling. today she demanded that i apologise and she said she can only forgive me if i apologise. she was sitting down so i had to lean down for a hug of reconciliation, but i did not return her gesture. it was when she said 'why didnt you hug me? you cant even pretend to be sorry?' that really shook me and made me recognise how absolutely horrible i was. my own self-righteousness and pride was disgusting. all along i thought i was right. my mom wasnt the model mom, and i had to fix it. but now, i was forced to question myself if i was really right.
i read a reflection that day. it was on the last supper when jesus said that one of the disciples was going to betray him. jesus obviously knew who and how exactly it was going to happen. and the reason why he said it out loud was so that they could search their conscience and be more critical of their own actions. to come to that realisation was painful, yet it was necessary. during stations, i could barely read the passages cos it held so much of god's message for me. to obey the person he put in charge of me. and to be brave and courageous in offering comfort and wiping away tears. and many others in the many stations.
maybe i grasp the theological aspect better than others. but it is shameful to admit i have consciously ignored the voice of god many many times. because i cannot die to myself. not only today, but in many other instances that were brought to mind throughout the day. after which, my self-reproaches left me further depressed. but then, another message, subtle and easily missed, from the stations always countered those thots. it reminded me: never think that your sinfulness is greater than the love of christ.
von.
1 Comments:
hey von. affirm you for your sharing =) praise God!
By mark.tang,
April 23, 2011 12:32 AM
i posted it on fb but i figured i'll post it here too! i think it's pretty interesting, note the vertical and horizontal axis. (:have a good holy week guys!
jes
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Thursday, April 21, 2011
maundy-ness
tonight there was something missing in me as i came before Christ. Not really caring was troubling me at he same time.
Then i remember the grieve which is very essential to any catholic spirituality. Not shirking from grieve & disappointment is something we all have to bear, no matter how painful it is.
At first i remember what makes me sad, what made me sad. not everything, but a good part of it i imagined.
Then i remember or imagined some of what makes others sad. bother that is the people close to me.
Then i was brought to what could make people i don't know sad and hurtful. To know that Jesus held the brokenness of the world.
How much i wanted to change in my life but wasn't possible even if i brought about a very very big stick. For a moment i was embraced. Then i was strengthened by the need for God who is the way through it all.
good night
dom
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Sunday, April 17, 2011
HELLO;)
HI FRIENDS :)
Guess who?! HAHAHAHA :) Everyday I'm shufflin'! Biggest clue!
THAT'S RIGHT; ALEX! HAHA!
Okay, I'm sane. Hello everyone, this is probably only my second time posting here. I'm super dee duper tired, like literally, my eyes are closing! But yeshhh, I'm gonna sleep soon so I thought I'd just brighten your lives with a song! So I was stoning in Ado (as usual) and (as usual) a song appeared in my head! So "Now that you're near" let the song drift into your ear! Have a great week guys!
lovelovelove, ALEX!
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Saturday, April 16, 2011
Hi guys, Soo here. Just got back from the passion play practice and supper and I feel really strongly about this so I think it has to be said. I think first off I gotta affirm those who turned up for the practice, it's a Friday night and most of us have exams coming up, and it's not easy to make time for something that seems so unconnected and unrelated to us.
I apologise in advance for any feathers I might ruffle in this post but I felt that this has to be shared, if you have anything to say (or feel a need to be vindicated) please approach me personally! I guess I left the practice with a huge sense of disappointment. After Mark Tang's constant reminders and Swee's semi speech last week after the first incident I expected the response today to be much more encouraging. Maybe it was my expectations being set too high, or maybe I was being too judgmental, but I was disappointed with LOG today.
Let me try to put things into perspective, for those of you who don't have any clue of what I'm talking about - basically we (the youth) have been asked by Fr. Bosco to help out in the Good Friday Passion Play for the outdoor stations of the cross, which is normally done by the altar boys. We're working with the Children's Liturgy and Altar Boys to help Fr. Bosco re-enact Jesus' passion, with some of us playing the soldiers, apostles, the angry crowd etc. Today was our second practice, which was held in place of our normal bible sharing, and is the last practice before the actual event on Friday.
I guess my main feeling comes from the fact that so many of us can come down on normal bible sharing Fridays, but yet when we are called to serve in a larger community (by our very own parish priest no less) we choose to shirk our duty and stay away. For me, it boils down to selfishness. The reason why we can come so willingly for bible sharings is because we receive. We receive the fellowship, the support and love that we are looking for after a long week at school. However, when it comes to a parish project, it seems harder to commit and be a cheerful giver - by the very reason that we are not receiving (as much, or not at all, compared to bible sharing), but rather having to give while seemingly being given nothing in return. I am guilty of this too, which explains my feeling of resentment and anger last week when I was arrowed to play John, Jesus' disciple. I guess sometimes we are too focused on what we call LOG love, but we forget something so much more bigger and more important - Church love, the love for our Church, whom each of us are called to serve, before and over whatever community/ministry we belong to. Main point of this being, sometimes we forget that what Jesus calls us is to love, and to love is to die to oneself. I'll let you figure out what this means in relation to this little event.
Liver's session last week showed me the power of acting out Jesus' passion and death, and I really believe that this Passion Play will touch the lives of many, but only if it is done with the right spirit and disposition. Honestly, this whole Passion Play is NOT going to work/have any effect/fail miserably if the youth are not there. Think about it, the others serving in this are the Altar Boys and Children's Liturgy kids, and they do not have the maturity to take this seriously as we do. Sometimes, we forget that we are called to be role models for the younger ones in the church, and one way we can do so is to show each and everyone there how to cultivate the right spirit in engaging in this parish activity. I really feel sorry for Fr. Bosco and the adults of the Children's Liturgy (remember they are probably more busy than us, even when we have exams) who have spent so much time and effort preparing the props and costumes, and I really don't want all their efforts to go to waste. I guess the point of this paragraph is to show you the practical side of things, that even if you don't agree with me regarding how we are called to serve the larger church and community, I hope that you'll see the dire need to why WE as a youth community HAVE to be there to participate and to lead the others in this aspect.
My point of this post is not to condemn, nor is it to make you guys feel guilty. It is only a call for each and everyone of us in this community of Leaven of God to ask ourselves this one question - Do we love Him enough to be able to sacrifice our time so that His glory can be revealed this Friday? I just ask that we put aside our excuses (I can't act/I don't see the purpose of this/Why must the youth be involved/etc), and just BE THERE on Friday to truly serve the Church in our acting and portrayal of Jesus' passion and death. I pray that many people will be touched by Him through this Passion Play, and that we ourselves may be able to gleam the depths of His love for us.
Love, Soo.
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Well, sitting around during session, clicking... with no voice... gave me time to think. time to listen. So here is my short reflection.
Well, I've been in LoG for a really long time. Gone through almost everything with everyone, seen people come and go. Had people missing from time to time. And that day I sat there listening, only to hear the people who are lost.
It sometimes feels so right. The right melody, the right harmony. Yet this day I could not help but feel that the balance was off, gaps here and there. I wish they were filled, I wish they were around.
But on retrospective, the gaps did do something else. They made me hear the voices of others even more clearly. People who normally you wouldn't hear. And so maybe that is the best part about it now, having everyone's voice heard.
Ah well, short reflection... I like to use things as analogies. Hope i made some sense. haha. =)
Swee
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Monday, April 11, 2011
this was smtg i posted on my tumblr yday:
just thought i should post my thoughts on today. at the end of session, mark tang asked: was that real or acting? and i have no answer to that. hur. when i was in syd drama we had this exercise where we were asked to express our emotions, tt’s equals to ‘force yourself to cry in a sad scene’. i did tear, but after today, i am quite sure that was acting then. today was some serious business. if you realise, if i cry when i share, i nv get to finish my sentences and i always hold back my tears. but just now was different. my sentences came out perfectly pronounced, scripted in my head. and yet the emotions were real. (the buildup helped) it was some awesome experience/experiment truth be told. this must be what awesome actors go through with every different story. i know. sometimes i think it is immoral to use your own emotions to perfect an act. afterall, acting is fake. why put something so real, so raw in it? but i know i didnt use it for self-fulfilment. it was a genuine message i wanted you guys to know. and this helps me to be moral. even in the grey areas.
then today i was fb-surfing and i found this:
http://badcatholicblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/be-awesome.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+blogspot%2FZlvDi+(BadCatholic)&utm_content=Google+Reader
'our Church has brought the world the best literature, art, architecture, music and life it has...'
therefore, guys, be awsm
:D
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Sunday, April 10, 2011
old song but this song keeps coming back to me, whenever im frustrated, this song lifts me up, right from the first line. just thought i'd share it with you guys :) btw liver great session today. please pray for me and raph and bel too haha our exams start this week! :)
<3 joel
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Friday, April 08, 2011
Sick
Hey guys, been sick this entire week. Real bummer. Now I just feel a bit weak. Whats worse is that I been giving myself excuses to not do stuff. Not study, not go to school, not go for mass. Wasting another precious week away esp before my 3ple exam date. Save me.
So before my own reflection, take this as a plea to annoy me to go and study, esp my math and mle, dragging me out to study is even better.
Well, on Sunday when everyone went out, I kinda told myself if anyone asks me to go anywhere I would, but if not... too bad. So I ended up staying around, playing the guitar with by bruised finger tips. Not really letting myself being surrounded by noise. Sorry Rice. But I guess after session, I had to lead worship for BASIC.
And I wanna say that God leads.
Its quite funny, cause that very morning when I was looking for writing material which rice asked for, I found my SOW journal! And in it I found something which Scott said when he was sec2! Wow. And I guess what I read just guided me to what I needed to say during worship!
And during worship, during the singing, during all the noise, I find that place, I find that space, I find God! So want to affirm liver simeon and tim tan.
Thanks rice for session, and food. Big step forward it was! =D
Anyway, I'm going for vocation discernment retreat. Contact me!!
-Swee
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Thursday, April 07, 2011
Hello LOG,
I had my orientation at NYP today. Honestly, I feel like shit or something around there. The culture is really different from Saint Gabriel's and it's really a total new ground. I mean orientation was quite okay, we had water games and it was pretty fun. Today was pretty scary. I was broken up into my class and I mean they are all nice people but they are not people I would totally hang out with but I guess God is challenging me out of my comfort zone again. The culture in Nanyang is different, it' not very (I don't know the right word for this because I feel it's just a change of environment too). I was in a mission school with a Catholic environment for 12 years of my schooling life and suddenly to Poly isn't a very good transition either. Most of the people are not that English orientated either so it's pretty uneasy. It's socially draining to try to make friends and try my best to go out of the way to talk and to be vulnerable too.
Another huge struggle is that as I walked in to NYP's orientation hall and saw a former school mate. His jaw kind of dropped and he told me “You are here? I thought you would have done way better than this! “And I was like "Whoa what a great start to this" in my head. It's not all that easy too that I am in Poly. I guess I never prepared myself that I was going to Poly because I always dreamt of going to CJ and working my ass off but yet having fun. Even now, I struggle in accepting my results although somehow it has God’s grace on it ad I have accepted them to a certain extent, yet it’s so difficult to also accept them fully because I really felt I worked too hard to receive what I did. I don’t understand God fully, I don’t understand this plan of God’s but I know that it’s his will and I told him “let his will be done unto me” so I can’t say anything to that too. I know God's plan is perfect and that he cannot lead me to something bad and yet it's is difficult.
Today we also had a briefing about our course and stuff. I really need to get into University and I really know I have to work hard for it. The lecturer who is in-charge of my class in a way told us about all the academic stuff and he briefed us about our GPA’s. He said if you want to get into Uni your GPA in your 3rd year needs to be at least 3.75/4 to get into a University and he said you don’t get that GPA just by working hard on the 3rd year but you got to start now because every semester matters. At first I thought it was the first day scary talk but as I thought about it I realized it’s true. And he even said “It’s not that easy to score such a grade, only 20% at the max get such a grade & I would also have to say that the lecturers are stingy with the grades too btw” and I really got scared. This may sound like I am freaking out and maybe I am to a certain extent but man this just sucks. I really have no idea.
Finally, please pray for me that I will receive God’s grace to accept this new life and everything. I am going for Poly Camp tomorrow held at CAYC and I will only come back on Sunday night which means I miss both bible sharing & session which totally sucks yet I feel that the camp is at the perfect time because again I think God wants’ me to feel all of this now and this right moment because he has got to reveal so much to me in this camp that I have yet to discover about him and he is bringing me deeper where it’s more difficult, where I am going to struggle more but he wants me to just cling on to him and so I am going to try. See you guys soon!
P.S : Sorry that my thought are all over , it comes from a confused point of view
1 Comments:
Don't give up greg! School is always like that yeah just hang on tight and go with the flow... and if messed up stuff happens just rant on fridays :D. All the best
Andrew
Known
Hi guys
Just wanna share a song that has become very close to my heart. It's Known by Audrey Assad (the artiste that sang Restless, go check her out on youtube! she is amazingly blessed by God). The song is based on Psalm 139 and it's about the relationship between God and Us. Drawing upon the psalm, couple of parallels are made - the Lover and the Beloved, the mother and her baby, the swallow and the sky. The chorus is really special to my own life. God the Saviour, knows me as I am; God, the Healer knows me as I was and He will continue to know me as I will be in the future. The song really speaks of such an intimate relationship, so personal and so special. Even though we've heard this psalm countless times, it never fails to blow me away. He knows me. He knows you. Besides God knowing me, I hope to know him.. not just know of him or about him, but to know him. I guess it's a personal reminder to spend more time in prayer.
Hope this song speaks to you! :) Hang in there, tomorrow's Friday(mass + stations) and we're almost at Sunday!
Jess
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Tuesday, April 05, 2011
my trip down to gardens
i think maybe i got a little confused with the reflection question, but it still helps! I wrote that living my life as a prayer means "Choosing and doing things I want in my life with the blessing of God, knowing that it's aligned to God" because that day particularly i struggled with the choices and decisions that i make for myself, that im aware its not always what i truly want. maybe because other people's needs are more pressing, or im just too afraid to do what i want? and its hard to find where God fits into this picture sometimes. so i just wish that sometimes i get to do the things i want to do, with the knowledge that God is supporting me. a little ideal situation in my head but yeah.
and in a way, i did get to do what i wanted. i went down to gardens, i deposited my cheque and i bought myself a pair of slippers. along the way i met greg and mark chong, so we had ice cream too. but i still managed to achieve the things that i wanted. so in a way i guess, living my life as a prayer means that amidst all the noise, i surrender my own needs and wants to God. to be comfortable with making choices for myself at times, and putting myself second before others at others, and perhaps the wisdom to know when to do either :) good session, should have more of these. hahahaha
love joel
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Monday, April 04, 2011
Thank you for sharing :)
This is all Soo's fault, I woke up early to go to school early to do work and now I am here reading old blog posts and reminiscing about the past. How much I/everyone/LOG/life has changed. I did find this post, whoever posted it did not sign off though but here is it -
MAYONNAISE JAR and 2 CUPS OF COFFEE
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when
24 hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of
coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them
into the jar.He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
Next, the professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of
course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "YES."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things
-
God, family, children, health, friends, and favorite passions
- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else -- the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for
the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that are! important to you.
So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play
With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out
to dinner. Play another 18.
There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. "Take
care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."
and just to add, write out your list of the 15 most important things in life to you. cancel 12 away starting with 5, then,another 5, then another 2.
so, are you living your life they way you think you should?
Love,
Rice
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Sunday, April 03, 2011
Hi Log :) My turn to post.
So for our one hour, I decided I wanted to bake. Thanks to Jes, Maryanne and I made it back to my house to bake. I decided on a really simple recipe and we made cupcakes. Bits of conversations here and there with Maryanne and my maid. Most of the time, I was focussed on getting all the measurements right, the consistency, the sweetness. Mixing all the ingredients together was fun, seeing the colour of the batter change.. Separate ingredients, but one batter. Baking brings me away from the noise of life.
I love baking, it brings a lot of joy. It's something I do when I'm having a bad day or I want some time out from my schedule. I haven't had the time to bake in ages, so finally! Guilt-free freedom to do something I want to do! As I was doing my reflections just now, I realised that I was having an off moment yesterday night/this morning and so having the chance to bake this morning was truly a God-sent gift. It was as though He knew what I needed, He provided and planned those precious 30mins for me. A simple activity, but something I really needed and I was happy to share it with Maryanne since she hardly bakes.
I jotted down "Constant awareness of the heart, spirit and will of God" when we were asked to answer what we thought a life of prayer was. I guess my main takeaway from today's session is to never underestimate simple activities and what God has planned for you in them. Constant awareness.
Jess
0 Comments:
______________________________________________finding rest in random bus rides!
heya loggers, haven't been posting here in ages cuz i've been doing so at my personal blog -> 500daysofbummer.tumblr.com (shameless plug i know :D hahaha)
anyway, since jes has made a rallying cry for our experiences of session today to be posted i shall oblige!
most of you should know that i took 317 to sgn int (topped up my ezlink card + bought bubble tea there) and back to church. haha weird/time wasting-ish but i guess that's my form of rest amidst all the noise. i love bus rides where i can just retreat into my own personal space while sitting down despite all the noise and hustle that goes by, and just watch everything go by.
so yes, with that mentality i set off for a peaceful, uninterrupted bus ride to sgn int. but lo and behold, our God (a very funny one) allowed me to bump into shawn yeo (for those who don't know him he's a dude who was from yv, he's studying in aus now and was back for a short while) at the bus stop. i guess i didn't really wanna talk to him because i wanted my own personal time, but he invited me over to sit with him on the bus anyway. was a little reluctant at first, but i'm glad i did. had a wonderful chat about what he studies in aus (restaurant management, which he loves. sounds damn interesting, he was telling me about molecular gastronomy where they use liquid nitrogen to freeze foods and use agar agar to make soup into noodles o_O)
and i guess that was the highlight of my experience today. as much as i didn't feel like talking to him initially, i rmbed what i wrote in response to ricer's question - that i wanted to be free to love, and that meant dying to my own desire of having a quiet bus ride and instead going to talk to a brother in Christ who has been away for a long time. i guess many times i shy away from such social settings, wanting to preserve my own solitude and quiet space, but God reminded today that it is possible to experience Him even in the noise that surrounds us. despite me not having a solo bus ride to myself, i was given the opportunity to love my brother, just by allowing him to share his dreams, hopes and passions for that 20 minutes. and that brings me to a bigger reminder, that we are called to "go and make disciples of all men" (probably not the exact words :/), and not retreat to our own holes to seek God for ourselves. today was a reminder of our first call - to love others as He first loved us, and not just to love oursevles. and in this context i daresay my "noisy" trip there was one that was more loving than my silent solo trip back to church!
so yup, that's about it for my experience in living my life as a prayer, by being aware of God's presence during my rest time amidst the noise! now its your turn to share!
Soo
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Hey log! I just realized that this is probably my first time writing on LoG blog I FINALLY KNOW THE USER/PASSWORD hahaha.... ahem. yes.
First off I really have to say thank you rice. I really believe today's session was truly inspired by higher authority; the words that were used were just so similar and in synch with what I have been thinking about and have written about before in my journal that it was just so utterly perfect.. and gave me that warm fuzzy feeling :) I really was quite stunned and at a lost as to what to write for that whole duration of 8 or so minutes.. SOME SPIRIT CHANNELING RIGHT THERE was all I could think of.. But I really love the whole idea of finding God in our rest and in the noise of this world; the verse "be still, and know that I am God Pslam 46:10" just comes to mind. Also, the idea of seeking rest always appeals to me :D
As mel has written, we both just strolled over to the park next to church and made small chat along the way. I plonked my stuff on a bench just a bit off under the big shady trees and, using my bag as a pillow, just went on to lie there. I faced upward and gazed at the big trees, the brilliant sun and the birds flying about. For that moment I was completely enchanted by nature's beauty and just basked in the glory of God's creation. That moment was sorely destroyed by a stupid fly who refused to stop buzzing around me.. so I got up and started journaling and basically writing to God about how life has been so far. On impulse, I got up from my bench and went to sprint around the park. The gravity of having sprinted around the park in the scorching heat only hit me after I made my round and walked to where mel was and telling him what I just did... HRM. yeah so after that I went to sprint another 2 times then I walked over to the pyramid thingy that spins around then mel came over and we chatted our way back to church.
That whole experience made me come to a few conclusions: I definitely miss the days that I could just do nothing and it has made me realize how much I treasure the times that I am just alone, at peace, with God in mind. After further conversation with mel, it led me to amend that thought and remember that it is also because of how busy I am now that has led me to realize how special those moments are. I also came to redefine what rest really meant to me. It wasn't merely inactivity, it was more about embracing your freedom and just doing things that you want to do.. which in my case included sprinting around a park in blistering conditions. It is in that embracing of freedom that I once again grasped fully the grand blessing of free choice and remembered who I am as a child of God. I recall the love that God showers on his creation and how I should act as one of His own. I guess in addition to what I wrote earlier today, that is what living my life as a prayer means; to always act as one of His own.
I definitely enjoyed this session, it has helped me set my feet back on the path towards easter. Besides that, the food in the log room was damn epic lol I REALLY DIDNT EXPECT ITALIAN.. sadly the food wasn't enough I had to get MOAR FOOD. meh. Ok. That's about it lol.
Love,
Andrew
2 Comments:
i agree with the sprinting. though i highly disagree with the jeans. haha.
By jes,
April 03, 2011 11:51 PM
not to mention e onitsuka shoes. but it's ok cos he doesn't sweat ._.
______________________________________________Hello everyone,
For those who couldn't join us, the theme for session today was Finding God in Rest. Finding Rest in Noise. And so in the process perhaps discovering what it means to live life as a prayer to God.
Here's what you guys wrote regarding what it means to you to live your life like a prayer :) (I hope I didn't read the stuff you guys wrote wrongly, and for the nameless ones I kind of guessed so if I made mistakes please let me know!)
To do little things with great joy - Raphael
Constant awareness of the heart, spirit and will of God - Jess
Having God as my twin brother :) - Melvyn
Believing that everything which happens is part of God's response to my prayers - Sim
To live my life with peace in my heart no matter what - Jes
Love. A love more than this. - Swee
Living my life like a prayer would be being kind and courteous, loving and charitable to others around me - Mark Chong
Resting in mystical presence and experiencing God's revelation - Mark Tang (?)
Being who I really am, and using all the gifts God has given me. To love others freely and receive freely - Andrew
To be able to listen to God speaking in everything around me, be it in words, noise or action - Liver
Choosing and doing things I want in my life with the blessing of God, knowing that it's aligned to God. - Poey (?)
Being in total communion with God - Joan
It would be to just be who I am and to just allow God to show me and bring me through my day - Greg
Difficult. A calm but burning passion - Dominic
To be able to keep God in my thoughts, decisions and feel Him in me through the little things I do each day that are seemingly trivial and unimportant. - Maryanne
To be free to love - joyously, cheerfully, unconditionally - Soo
Thanks for everyone's participation and openness today :) Please remember to do your assignment for tonight!! And yes, thanks jes :) if you guys can/want to, do share how you spent the one hour and how you might have experienced God.
Love,
Rice:)
0 Comments:
______________________________________________i went to e park. walked there w smalltsui. chatted a little along e way. then i went to sit in e shaded area w benches. i brought my laptop cos i intended to write, as my form of rest. in my mind, there'd be a nice breeze and i'd happily and smoothly write out smth.
but it was warm and humid. AND THERE WERE MOSQUITOES ._. so yea i couldn't rly write anything much. writing's like tt. gotta hv e inspiration. seems like my muse din't rly want me to write anything.
so i went to swing a while =) e swing was creaky so i felt rly self-conscious. but i'm still glad tt i retained my swinging skills haha. altho it's definitely much easier now tt i hv longer legs than i used to when i was 11 (tho not tt much longer really). when i saw ppl coming into e park, tt was too much shame for me so lol i quickly got off e swing.
walkg back to my usual spot, i realized where tsui was (i din't see him at first) - at some bench at e other corner of e park. lol and i wondered if he saw me swinging. which he did ._. so. haha. oh well.
then i just sat in the bench and daydreamed. i thought abt how i'd like to be on the grand canyon. tt'd be an awesome place to write. i thot abt e small gravel-like stones on e floor and imagined them swirling in e air and streaming away. i thot abt tmr's moot, and prob having to take cab to sch later. i thot abt whether i was properly resting or not. i thot abt how places like these make e world seem a little less screwed up than newspapers purport it to be. i thot abt my dogs and how i like to play w them aft doing too much work at home.
then i saw tsui sitting at e top of e spiderweb thingie. it was ard 12.25 so i walked over and sat down on e lower rung. then we chatted a little while. we saw 317 coming by and i expected to see quite a few ppl dropping off. but no one appeared. after a while, tsui went to grab his bag and we walked back to e log room.
when rice started her session, i liked it immediately. i liked e idea of findg god in little pockets of our day, and in moments apart from e exclusive times tt we set apart for prayer, mass and church activities. cos i think he's present even in all e 'non-spiritual' things tt we do. and we shud be aware of his presence even in those times. but also, i liked it cos i myself relate to tt. i find tt it is in these little pockets - walkg from one place to another, doing some mindless chore, bathing etc - tt i receive e most brilliant inspirations and wonderful ideas. in a sense, those are e moments when i listen e most to god. it's only recently tho, tt i'm directing these moments to him.
so when we journaled, i wrote down a list of stuff tt i do to rest (and find god) and take my mind off e hustle of life. i narrowed it down to 2 options (cos of e limitations of time and resources) - (1) writing, and (2) having a nice chat w a friend. one of them didn't rly happen. i'm glad e other did =)
thx for e awesome session rice! sry for making u buy xiaolongbao haha i HONESTLY (i swear) tot it was just an idea to collect our lunch wishes or smth. lucky i didn't put crab or geylang frog porridge or some other troublesome stuff haha.
mel
1 Comments:
lol oh i realize i left out e god element. hm. nth much very tangible. i don't think it was an experience. more like an awareness. and communicating w him. while on e swing, while daydreamg, while chattg and walkg and stuff. yea.
______________________________________________HELLO LOG.
IT'S POST SESSION AND WE GENERALLY CONCLUDED THAT WE SHOULD BLOG ABOUT THE THINGS WE DID TODAY. (SO YOU SHOULD) AND SIGN OFF GUYS!
Ok. So I decided to drive around and Joan was just in the car with me. I drove to like thomson and back.
The noise: boom boom pow and other trashy (and songs about alligators) on 98.7fm
The rest: talking to Joan
The God element: talking about our lives and our spirituality
It was pretty good and sufficient for that short 30 mins.
The whole concept of finding rest in noise is something I'm familiar with, but I guess session just reaffirmed it as an important part of my spirituality.
To find the eye of the storm in the hurricane.
nothing much from me. just telling you guys to blog if you brought away anything and also a reminder to write a reflection with the phrases rice gave. ok bye!
-jes
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Saturday, April 02, 2011
Mark of the True Christians
Hello Everyone,
For those who went for bible sharing last night you will know what Soo spoke about right?
For those who didn't please visit Soo's blog.
Anyway, I was doing my daily (trying very very had) reading of the bible and I was at Romans. Then Romans 12 verse 9-21 hit me and I read it and I was pretty amazed. The title of that passage is Marks of the True Christian and it's like really how each and everyone of us as Christians and Catholics are called to be like and it's not something which certain people possess but each and everyone of us.
I remember Soo sharing that he was quite amazed that 1000 Catholic students attended a reparation mass for the people who crashed the Church rather than fighting back and truly they acted in a way they were called to be and how they are supposed to be like.
And if I am not wrong, yesterday the mass reading was about the 2 main commandments and if you think deeper it all comes back to those 2 commandments. To love God with all your heart, mind, soul & strength and to love your neighbor as yourself. I really am quite amazed with God that he asks so little and gives so much.
And just on the side note Soo said that the people of other religions may react differently from us e.g. Muslims so I decided to search it up since I found and know our side of the story. The Muslims too have such a call or an instruction to behave but not as detailed or humbling as ours but they too have that call. It's just the matter of choice and the way you have inculcated your religion into your life I suppose. So yeah, this is my short reflection
See you guys tomorrow =)
Greg