hello log:)
first of all i must say that i really feel distance helps love grow stronger. being away from you all most sundays and having to miss almost all sessions because of catechism really taught me to appreciate every one of you so much more. i mean, i do tell my sec1s stories of log and all the things i've experienced with you all so i won't be surprised if my class knows you all well enough by the time their confi camp comes round:)
anyway, i spent the three weeks prior to confi camp in quite a panic because i was asked to do a p&w session for this camp when i knew well enough i wasn't in the right spiritual and emotional state of mind to lead a session for the confirmants. so it's like, every day on the bus to meet friends, or here and there i'd just take out my notebook and stare at an empty page willing for words to fill it up but nothing came. didn't pray, just stared at an empty notebook page trying to force something out. nothing nothing nothing for 3 weeks and by the final spiritual prep the night before camp i gave up any hope in preparing a session and was about to walk up to michelle & evelyn to ask them if they could help me take over session when fr b. called me over to help him out with something. quite a no. of times here and there that night i tried going over to tell them i needed them to take over session but somehow someone would get in the way and interrupt me and prevent me from giving up my session.
i was damn pekchek already la i mean that night, but now that i think about it, i'm glad God did everything and anything to prevent me from giving up the session. because if i did give it up, i wouldn't have realised that i was capable of doing more than what i thought i could, i wouldn't have realised that God had chosen me to do His work long before i even accepted it, i wouldn't have gotten the faith i seemed to have lost this whole year since mission trip back in me, and i wouldn't have gotten to stay up with vonn in the middle of the night, accompanying her as we planned our sessions together on the night of day 2. (thanks von btw)
retreat was an emotional rollercoaster with the extreme downs especially on day 2 and the high end of 3rd day onwards til the end of confi camp. but tired as i am physically and emotionally i would go through it all over again knowing the amazing results that came out of it and the great great great depth of log ♥ i'd feel :D:D
it's been only 3 days since confi camp ended and i'm still feeling drained from it, but i gotta go off to holy spirit confi camp tomorrow already. this time i think the cross's different, more in the form of going into this camp knowing it's well out of my comfort zone. it's not sfx, not where i comfortably belong, not where loggers and sfxians are, basically i'm going to this next camp with a leap of faith lah. scared, but i'll add log shirt in my bag for comfort :D thanks for today you all, zohan was a sibeh stupid show and waste moneh & all (shouldve watched get smart:/), but i feel great spending the last day before going to my next camp with you all. thanks, ♥ you all long time and i'll be praying canteen goes well:)
anne.
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______________________________________________Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Jes' Confi camp experience
(ripped from my own blog + rnadom note below (: )
i think they are the strangest bunch of pple to be placed together. (ok maybe every other group is like this as well) but putting pple of such different frequencies together in the same group and looking at each of them experience the same spirit in their own unique way was amazing. it's a very "awrrrr..." sorta reaction upon looking back at this camp. (:To be honest it was mighty awkward but somehow they were alright. like there were super awkward silences when mark wasnt around to help facilitate but they didnt judge me as being inadequate or anything. ( or at least i think they didnt) (: so that i think is god's little assurance to me (:
before i go on to the camp itself, shall talk a little more bout my group. I think it was truely amusing that they bonded over a dustbin. it was during cleaning up on the last day when we were done doing the easiest tasks around, so they were given the tasks to clean a dustbin!(with decomposed toothpaste. EWW) so 4 of them (the 4 quietest actually, 2 guys, 2 girls) dragged a dustbin and washed it. As simple as it was the quietest boy just suddenly burst out laughing and somehow the ice just broke. They washed the dustbin as if they were 5year olds, simply laughing and enjoying the moment spent with each other. I was just watching since i was doing touch time with brenna. One of the boys actually went up to testify, he may not have been very clear about it but the fact that he went up shows that that moment meant a lot to him and maybe he actually experienced a little of the spirit at that point of time. praise god for my lovely random group. (:
OHOHOH WE WERE 2ND!!!! hahahah the scream that came from me was pure joy really because WOOO! we're such slackers and somehow we managed to worked together :D (the pple in my group are really on different frequencies) so it was cool :D:D:D
oh i wanna praise god for the girls in my group too because i can relate to each one of them in different ways, like their attitude towards things or their relationship with their family or just their character. After everyone of those touch times (1on1 sharing) I just felt so so satisfied and glad. like eating the most amazing food! that same "ahhhh.... that was good.." feeling. (: It was a beautiful feeling.
About the camp, I'll be brief.. POINT FORM!
1) It started of quite bad because we lacked a formal introduction in our sharing groups on the first day. the entire first day was packed with games and sessions so much so that there was simply no time to just stop and breathe, no time to reflect on and soak in everything that was coming in large chunks of info. So on the first night, the program sorta got slammed because the facils were all sad that we weren't able to start of with the "so how do you feel coming for camp?" question. We were basically playing games with a bunch of random strangers. what was worse is that we didn't know their spiritual levels and it's like oh no! it's 3 days left and praying over tmr! panic panic!
2) day 2 was even worse. Although we were able to have that introduction sharing, we were still in panic mode but i think we were really trying really hard to salvage the situation and make them as prepared for what was to come tonight (the night which most of us felt was the main climax of the camp). When the night was over most facils felt so down, because we felt like we failed to actually let them experience what we experienced during our camps, as they weren't spiritually prepared enough (since there were only so many sharings) . But we held hope and we prayed really really hard that we be able to break thru somehow since there were 2 days left.
3) day 3. This was the day when we understood the dynamics of the camp, that the climax of this camp is to actually reconcile with the family.This was the day when we felt our prayers being answered. (: it was heartwarming and i think a lot of us were damn emo cause the scene was just so heart warming. The simple act of running to your parents is just so sweet and touching (: (i felt damn weird because i was happy and sad at the same time so somehow the feelings crossed each other out. haha )
4) It was good because the barriers came down and the testimonies were amazing because it really affirmed all of us that the camp wasn't bad. It was just different and at the end of the day we learnt 2 things. Prayer is power! and to just trust in god's plan.
5)all i wanted them to take away was a special moment with god from the camp. and it came true. so im glad. (:
6) on a more personal note, The camp actually made me do things i always felt i could do but never had the courage or strength to do it (or so i thought).
praying over, saying prayers out loud?!
sharing, speaking first?!?!?!
facilitating... by myself occasionally.. ):
gosh. praise god.
7) needless to say i made new friends and stronger relationships. I felt the LoG power again! (that closeness in faith)
8) oh ya we had beautiful sharings that really made the difference. One that struck me was Joshua's about always having to prove yourself to the pple around you that you are capable. I can't rmb how he overcame that with God though, i just rmb the sharing striking me. I guess it's like, god loves me anyways and i should just be who i am. something like that.
9) the most amazing part of this camp for me personally however was warm fuzzy writing. I've never felt so inspired to write fuzzies in my life. i just kept writing and i just felt so led by the spirit when i wrote those fuzzies. (:
"and it was all good" -book of genesis
thank you.
"There is nothing you can ever do to make God love you less"
ON A LOG NOTE:
I really wanna thank the log girls(plus mark) for being there journeying with my and just being the support pillars. we were like pillars that couldnt stand straight so we all leaned on each other so we all don't topple over! (uh try to imagine it if you can la. like from straight standing individual pillars to one thats like campfire stick formation. haha )
i wanna thank the log guys who came too cause it was just damn good seeing log pple. to be honest i really missed log guys being in the camps too. like swee (and rice too actually) with power sharings. soo ,brandon and liver playing stuff and jamming. sim teaching. poey's :D support, melvin, melvyn , zheng and kong who just connects with pple well. and jon who whizzes around doing stuff like shaun andy. haha.
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______________________________________________Tuesday, June 03, 2008
LOGGERS!
Mini retreat 7th to 8th Jun
We will all go for sunset mass together, so thats 6pm, though novena is encouraged!
Then dinner will be settled in church by core so don't worry bout it!
After that it'll be session until we sleep. session is done by MSC for us so yep.
We wake up, we'll have morning praise then we go OUT for breakfast!
things to bring other than ur own stuff
BIBLE
Faith Journal
Pen (just in case or if u like ur own pen haha)