Sunday, March 30, 2008
hey log. yea i know i haven't been around much for them youth programmes during lent and holy week. hospital stay has really taken its toll on me; it's coming to almost three weeks since i was discharged and energy level's still running low. going through a bit of a personal struggle hasn't helped much either.. i think i'm kind of ready to share this with you all, so here it is.
i've been pretty free over the past one week (which is why this bum needs to find work fast!).. so i spent quite a fair bit of it doing some thinking. maybe i'll start from well, the beginning of this struggle. in february i was elected to be the new coordinator of our parish's liturgical music ministry. initially i thought it wouldn't be much, but now i realise that it's a heck of a whole new responsibility and a heck of a whole new challenge. when i was eventually named as the coordinator, my first thought was "where would i dedicate my energy to?" it hasn't been easy trying to give a hundred percent to both youth and music ministry over the last two years. to be honest, it's been tiring. and i think my stubborness in trying to give my all to both has led to the state of health that i'm currently in. but i think that it's come in a good time, looking at the fact that people like kris are beginning to step up and have the courage to lead (may i say?) in helping to get the confirmation camp programme sorted out and all. i guess it's in this way that i have to learn to rely on others instead of taking things upon myself, and i'm thankful to joan for reminding me of that!
anyway.. yea. i don't know. God's been playing games with me ever since my appointment to lead the music ministry. while you all keep my faith alive, music is what drives me on in life. and it hasn't been an easy task trying to give my all to both. i wouldn't want to neglect one or the other. just want you all to know that. i hope you'll understand why it's been difficult for me to commit to the youth programmes. i just don't want this struggle to keep sticking with me throughout the next two years of my term.
love,
jon
Monday, March 24, 2008
oh yea. tt maundy thurs when we had the short session of washing feet. we shared abt the eucharist right. so funny cuz this song kept playing in my mind. hur. its not hillsong or anything. in fact, its in 987fm top ten few weeks ago or smtg. reminded of me the eucharist cuz it had smtg to do with blood. anyways, here's the lyrics.
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
*But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open*
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
bleeding love - leona lewis
you know, in my darkest lowest times, all i think of is log
and how yall have always been an instrument of god to me
and that keeps me going
-counting down the weeks-
loves von.
hey log. yea i know i haven't been around much for them youth programmes during lent and holy week. hospital stay has really taken its toll on me; it's coming to almost three weeks since i was discharged and energy level's still running low. going through a bit of a personal struggle hasn't helped much either.. i think i'm kind of ready to share this with you all, so here it is.
i've been pretty free over the past one week (which is why this bum needs to find work fast!).. so i spent quite a fair bit of it doing some thinking. maybe i'll start from well, the beginning of this struggle. in february i was elected to be the new coordinator of our parish's liturgical music ministry. initially i thought it wouldn't be much, but now i realise that it's a heck of a whole new responsibility and a heck of a whole new challenge. when i was eventually named as the coordinator, my first thought was "where would i dedicate my energy to?" it hasn't been easy trying to give a hundred percent to both youth and music ministry over the last two years. to be honest, it's been tiring. and i think my stubborness in trying to give my all to both has led to the state of health that i'm currently in. but i think that it's come in a good time, looking at the fact that people like kris are beginning to step up and have the courage to lead (may i say?) in helping to get the confirmation camp programme sorted out and all. i guess it's in this way that i have to learn to rely on others instead of taking things upon myself, and i'm thankful to joan for reminding me of that!
anyway.. yea. i don't know. God's been playing games with me ever since my appointment to lead the music ministry. while you all keep my faith alive, music is what drives me on in life. and it hasn't been an easy task trying to give my all to both. i wouldn't want to neglect one or the other. just want you all to know that. i hope you'll understand why it's been difficult for me to commit to the youth programmes. i just don't want this struggle to keep sticking with me throughout the next two years of my term.
love,
jon
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Monday, March 24, 2008
oh yea. tt maundy thurs when we had the short session of washing feet. we shared abt the eucharist right. so funny cuz this song kept playing in my mind. hur. its not hillsong or anything. in fact, its in 987fm top ten few weeks ago or smtg. reminded of me the eucharist cuz it had smtg to do with blood. anyways, here's the lyrics.
Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen
But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
*But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open*
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling
But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
bleeding love - leona lewis
0 Comments:
______________________________________________you know, in my darkest lowest times, all i think of is log
and how yall have always been an instrument of god to me
and that keeps me going
-counting down the weeks-
loves von.