Thursday, April 17, 2008
this blog like a bit stagnant arh. a bit only. lol. im like the only one blogging. hur. anyways, im back from my crazy 6-day camp. i have a confession to make. thruout the 6 days, the maximum number of hours we got every night is 4. and there were two consecutive nights we slept for 2 hours each. yea. really can die. its not tt we were playing or slacking or anything, there really was work to be done thruout the night. so anyways, we supposedly break camp on saturday night but i ended up coming home only at 3am on sunday. which also means i didnt actually wake up for mass tt day.
ohmy. damn long confession. anyways, after tt i decided to go for mass on monday. need to find fr. brian as well since i missed the previous day's briefing for con camp music ministry.
so i went. but ever since camp ended, all i could think abt was, whether i shld be running for elections again. i know i said i'll finish this term [end of april btw] and then come back to have some 'me' time and god time and log time etc. but looking at the pple who have expressed interest in running. sigh. really.
and then, there's always the human selfish nature to want something for themselves. yea. its really tempting la. tho i know its not a good enough reason for me to run. so the whole time i was at mass, i had these conflicting thots in my head. tried to clear it really. and at the same time, desperately soaked up every word of the gospel and every sentence tt fr. brian gave in his homily. thinking hopefully god will provide me an answer: to run, or not to run.
for the life of me, i cant rmb much abt the gospel. except tt it had smtg to do with a shepherd. after tt, went to find fr. brian and had a short talk with him after DO. we had this debate. i said i wanted to do SU stuff and tt in tt way i get to meet more pple outside the christian community. and if i do all this out of love den there is nothing wrong. den he rebutted saying if all i do does not bring the pple of SU to god den there is no point.
so anyways, dilemma not solved yet. and if you're still reading by now, zai lah you!
went for celine's 'mission possible' thing today with joan and mark. this is rather surprising. to find only 2 of them gg. so the theme is on mission and celine had her whole team of ICPE preaching on evangelism. there was one speaker who said:
evangelism is abt sharing god. it doesnt matter where you are and what you are doing. its not smtg you need to discern becos as long as you are baptised, you are alrdy called to evangelise.
there! someone affirming whatever fr. brian told me the day before. and affirming whatever i thot fr. brian had said in bias-ness. gahh. so after tt, celine led in worship and we had a short time of praying over. its funny cuz every sentence she spoke seem to hit me thousand times harder than the others. the same msg kept repeating itself. to come back, he is calling, to evangelise, to share jesus, its our mission... ...
and whenever we were ready, we just have to hold out our palms and someone will come pray over us. i was alrdy tearing by then. then after one of the ICPE person prayed over me, she told me:
the lord will be your shepherd. he will lead you to the green pastures and flowing water where you can rest
ohmann. did tt make me tear even more. so okay. 2 affirmations. still counting. i'll prolly stop thinking abt it only after next yr's commitee has been set up. and when the time comes, i must know tt not being part of the commitee means many things.
it means to hand over the place i have called my second home for the past year, to not be familiar with everyone who steps into lounge, to never step into lounge because it doesnt belong to me any more, to not be on stage for every major event, to not run past the many pple whenever school song is played [im telling you, shiokest feeling ever]. it means i have alot of things to give up and tt would hurt like mad. its as bad as how i missed log while i was doing union stuff, ironically.
but i also know, if this is really what god is calling me to, then he definately has great plans for me. alot more things for me to learn at this new place, from new pple he has planted. so guys, im coming back. i'll see you this sunday. heard from joan tt log is not alot better than it was before i 'left'. but i keep thinking abt kong and how we'd be at the prata shop at 30 yrs old. and tt keeps me gg.
so amen to the thousand and one words above. our god rocks.
loves many many
von.
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
[pls refer to jon's post at the bottom before reading mine]
in response to jon's post, i've been feeling like tt alot [last time -.-] as well. and i know what he means when both is just too much and doing just either one feels like smtg's missing. in a way, joan's right in saying we all have to learn to rely on each other.
i was sharing my situation with gen [from st. anne's]. it was like a good half a year before, tt i told her i didnt feel like i was gaining anything from log. tt was when sessions were stagnant. of cos all tt has changed with fr. brian's arrival, and the lent/easter programme which i wasnt there for much of the time, worked out and im glad it did. anyways, during tt sharing, she made me realise i was expecting too much. afterall, i did come from youthworks where i was accustomed to not doing sessions but yet received spiritual growth week after week.
she suggested tt i went for amplify. tt way, i can get input and yet still serve in log by doing sessions for yall. i didnt have to serve amplify cuz the pple who does amplify sessions get their inputs from somewhere else.
if we actually drew a mind-map, it shldnt be looking like a life cycle, only linking pple from our own community, tt is log. it shld criss-cross all ard every parish and every community we know. tt's because all the other pple are god's pple as well. and we not only rely on log, but on these pple as well.
eg. anne still belongs to log but she has offered to serve as a cathechist
so in tt way jon, u can do tt too! dont feel so paisei tt u nv contribute to log cuz u contribute back to the church in other ways! and to everyone who has ever belonged to a church community, we shld learn not to be too calculative. WWJD!!
hokay. camp is coming really fast. gotta go chiong stuff now. toodles.
loves many many
von
this blog like a bit stagnant arh. a bit only. lol. im like the only one blogging. hur. anyways, im back from my crazy 6-day camp. i have a confession to make. thruout the 6 days, the maximum number of hours we got every night is 4. and there were two consecutive nights we slept for 2 hours each. yea. really can die. its not tt we were playing or slacking or anything, there really was work to be done thruout the night. so anyways, we supposedly break camp on saturday night but i ended up coming home only at 3am on sunday. which also means i didnt actually wake up for mass tt day.
ohmy. damn long confession. anyways, after tt i decided to go for mass on monday. need to find fr. brian as well since i missed the previous day's briefing for con camp music ministry.
so i went. but ever since camp ended, all i could think abt was, whether i shld be running for elections again. i know i said i'll finish this term [end of april btw] and then come back to have some 'me' time and god time and log time etc. but looking at the pple who have expressed interest in running. sigh. really.
and then, there's always the human selfish nature to want something for themselves. yea. its really tempting la. tho i know its not a good enough reason for me to run. so the whole time i was at mass, i had these conflicting thots in my head. tried to clear it really. and at the same time, desperately soaked up every word of the gospel and every sentence tt fr. brian gave in his homily. thinking hopefully god will provide me an answer: to run, or not to run.
for the life of me, i cant rmb much abt the gospel. except tt it had smtg to do with a shepherd. after tt, went to find fr. brian and had a short talk with him after DO. we had this debate. i said i wanted to do SU stuff and tt in tt way i get to meet more pple outside the christian community. and if i do all this out of love den there is nothing wrong. den he rebutted saying if all i do does not bring the pple of SU to god den there is no point.
so anyways, dilemma not solved yet. and if you're still reading by now, zai lah you!
went for celine's 'mission possible' thing today with joan and mark. this is rather surprising. to find only 2 of them gg. so the theme is on mission and celine had her whole team of ICPE preaching on evangelism. there was one speaker who said:
evangelism is abt sharing god. it doesnt matter where you are and what you are doing. its not smtg you need to discern becos as long as you are baptised, you are alrdy called to evangelise.
there! someone affirming whatever fr. brian told me the day before. and affirming whatever i thot fr. brian had said in bias-ness. gahh. so after tt, celine led in worship and we had a short time of praying over. its funny cuz every sentence she spoke seem to hit me thousand times harder than the others. the same msg kept repeating itself. to come back, he is calling, to evangelise, to share jesus, its our mission... ...
and whenever we were ready, we just have to hold out our palms and someone will come pray over us. i was alrdy tearing by then. then after one of the ICPE person prayed over me, she told me:
the lord will be your shepherd. he will lead you to the green pastures and flowing water where you can rest
ohmann. did tt make me tear even more. so okay. 2 affirmations. still counting. i'll prolly stop thinking abt it only after next yr's commitee has been set up. and when the time comes, i must know tt not being part of the commitee means many things.
it means to hand over the place i have called my second home for the past year, to not be familiar with everyone who steps into lounge, to never step into lounge because it doesnt belong to me any more, to not be on stage for every major event, to not run past the many pple whenever school song is played [im telling you, shiokest feeling ever]. it means i have alot of things to give up and tt would hurt like mad. its as bad as how i missed log while i was doing union stuff, ironically.
but i also know, if this is really what god is calling me to, then he definately has great plans for me. alot more things for me to learn at this new place, from new pple he has planted. so guys, im coming back. i'll see you this sunday. heard from joan tt log is not alot better than it was before i 'left'. but i keep thinking abt kong and how we'd be at the prata shop at 30 yrs old. and tt keeps me gg.
so amen to the thousand and one words above. our god rocks.
loves many many
von.
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Wednesday, April 02, 2008
[pls refer to jon's post at the bottom before reading mine]
in response to jon's post, i've been feeling like tt alot [last time -.-] as well. and i know what he means when both is just too much and doing just either one feels like smtg's missing. in a way, joan's right in saying we all have to learn to rely on each other.
i was sharing my situation with gen [from st. anne's]. it was like a good half a year before, tt i told her i didnt feel like i was gaining anything from log. tt was when sessions were stagnant. of cos all tt has changed with fr. brian's arrival, and the lent/easter programme which i wasnt there for much of the time, worked out and im glad it did. anyways, during tt sharing, she made me realise i was expecting too much. afterall, i did come from youthworks where i was accustomed to not doing sessions but yet received spiritual growth week after week.
she suggested tt i went for amplify. tt way, i can get input and yet still serve in log by doing sessions for yall. i didnt have to serve amplify cuz the pple who does amplify sessions get their inputs from somewhere else.
if we actually drew a mind-map, it shldnt be looking like a life cycle, only linking pple from our own community, tt is log. it shld criss-cross all ard every parish and every community we know. tt's because all the other pple are god's pple as well. and we not only rely on log, but on these pple as well.
eg. anne still belongs to log but she has offered to serve as a cathechist
so in tt way jon, u can do tt too! dont feel so paisei tt u nv contribute to log cuz u contribute back to the church in other ways! and to everyone who has ever belonged to a church community, we shld learn not to be too calculative. WWJD!!
hokay. camp is coming really fast. gotta go chiong stuff now. toodles.
loves many many
von