Thursday, April 27, 2006
Small, painful steps
Sunday, April 16, 2006
HELLO LOG.
while all of you are mugging...i'm here unable to let go of the happiness that i wanted to last forever. and therefore am unable to do anything else other than coming online to waste my time. OH WELL.
i love Jesus! yes? He died for you and me. and what else can i say. just am so grateful. and easter easter easter!!! the day He rose for us. JUBILATION indeed.
i feel so unworthy of His sacrifice for me. and yet i feel so happy. because on this day..we were given so generously..HOPE.LOVE.FAITH.PEACE.JOY. and i don't know all i can do is feel this deep deep happiness and gladness i can't describe. and although i'm feeling sad on the surface because i really don't wnat to go back to school and go baack to reality i was looking forward to holy week like ALOT ALOT and look where i am again back to school. having not touched work at all over the last three-four days. i'm screwed! math test on friday...WHATEVER. but then. deep inside. i'm happy. i'm SO SO happy. and filled with peace. and so.
there goes. only God can penetrate our subconscious minds.
what to say Lord
It's You who give me life
and I can't explain just how
much You mean to me now
that You would save me Lord
give all that i am to You
that everyday i would be
a light that shines Your name.
EVERDAY! IT'S YOU I LIVE FOR!
so i'm feeling weird now. because i'm like a double layered cake...i'm happy and sad all at the same time. anyway. i've really abandoned work for now. I HATE LIFE. all the rubbish that keeps me away from my God. ): but i know everyday He's waiting for me. right there. deep deep inside my heart. waiting for me to jsut REMEMBER HIM. He's always always there for me. ALWAYS.
EVERYDAY! i'll walk with you my lord.
happy easter everyone! there's much to rejoice about! much more to rejoice about than to be upset over. that's for sure. because our God is BIG! there's NOTHING OUR GOD CANNOT DO.
take care everyone. can't wait to see you all again on Sunday!
rice.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Lent's over...if you haven't realised it
Thursday, April 06, 2006
OFF TO WIN THE GRAND PRIZE. WAHAHA.
hello my fellow loggers! i'm going to leave like for italy in a few hours time so i just decided to do a blog entry here, since i've realised i've only blogged once before. haha.
lent has been tough, and i think some of you might agree with me too. we've all been so caught up with our jc life, our ccas, our new environments etc that sometimes we even forget about church, community, or even god. personally, i've been faced with problems with regards to adapting in school, family, schoolwork, or even relationships and sometimes i just feel really helpless. and lost. so many times in this lent i have fallen, till the point when i get so tired i just feel like letting go of this commitment to him. yes my commitment to him, which is to sacrifice, to love, to offer and give myself up to his will. the tests all of us have endured in this lent, god put them there for a reason. so that we might conquer and grow stronger, THROUGH HIM. and believe it or not, no matter how many times i've felt dejected or weary this past month, being able to remember him through constant prayer and to have the courage to pick up my own cross each time i'd fallen has allowed me to grow closer to him.
he reveals his work in his own time, and we impatient humans need to understand this and trust in him. we just have to trust that god will never give up on us, though we are gazillions and he is one. haha. but yea all i'm trying to say is that, no matter what trials and tribulations we face, we must continue to carry our crosses, towards the end of lent, up calvary, which is our final destination. on good friday christ will die to save us, then on easter he will rise, and we will rise with him and rejoice not only because of this great miracle, but also that god has indeed granted us a blessing in disguise this lent. he will do all things well...in his own time. its really up to each one of us individually to make good use of all the experiences, the troubles. he will grant you joy, at the end of it all.
i'm sure at some point of time you guys have stopped for maybe a second, to think about our own community. some of us haven't been very committed, maybe lazy or too busy, some of us have forgotten what to do. maybe our group is struggling? its something every community has to go through. but then again, god has presented a perfect opportunity for all of us to maybe regain our faith in building his kingdom here on earth, and just to spend some precious time with each other. yea i'm referring to what we're (or maybe you guys, cos i won't be ard. boo) gonna be doing this holy week. i just wanna urge everyone to really put in their all into this event, because ultimately we're doing this for god. moreover, he rewards all those who never lose faith in him. this might just somehow revitalise our commitment, because the joy and happiness we can feel at the end of it will indeed be, encouraging. holy week can be said to be one of the best weeks of the year for our community and through each day, we need to continue to remember god, as one body. nothing is better than having a fellow logger praying together with you so faithfully and fervently, needless to say everyone. so lets stay together, encourage each other, and pray. really hope that holy week will be a stepping stone for us, don't lose focus!! cos i'll be praying OVER THE PLANE. ah whatever. hahah.
its quite a pity i'm gonna miss all of this. not really used to being left out of log activities. well i guess i'll see you guys on easter saturday then! i'll miss all of you! take care and may god bless!
oliver.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
hey guys..it's been a seemingly long time since i've blogged. let's see how my life is changing alright...
for the last few days i've realised that i am fearful. fearful of the things i know would happen to me...just to make me stronger..and of course everything that is best for me and everything that glorifies God and of course..these things..are crosses.things that will bring pain. things that will hurt. test me. stretch me. and i realised that i started becoming paranoid. becoming scared. afraid that the things that i looked forward to would turn out to be a disaster..afraid that now since things are getting better..my world would crash soon. all these paranoia started to get to me.
and yesterday during mass..[ok i wasn't exactly paying attention..kinda drifted off a bit] i suddenly told myself [or maybe it was God telling me] it's because you keep holding on to earthly things to make you happy!!! and these things would obviously disappoint you. and the thing is all you found joy in was God and the joy that God's way brings...you will never be upset. and then i thought to myself..why should i let other sinners kill the joy that Jesus brings? why should i make myself a sinner..having made so many people suffer along with me just cause i felt i made a mistake in school choice...all cause of other sinners? people who aren't important..people who will come and go. and yet God will be there forever and ever.
number one. i still get upset once in awhile of course. but at least i know where and how to channel those emotions to somewhere else.
next. i was once again reminded that a sin is a sin is a sin. i mean no matter how small you think your sin is. it is still a sin and a sin is a sin IS A SIN!!!!! and how blinded i was. how blinded i was..thinking that i was alright because my sins were minor. but when i went for confession...the Father's reaction hit me straight in the face. and suddenly i realised...no matter how small..it is still a sin!!!! A SIN IS A SIN IS A SIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO CHANGE. i have to start to love. i have to stop being so selfish.
you know suddenly today i felt excited suddenly. excited to love those who hate me. because i haven't met the people in my cca yet. and i'm meeting them tmr...and i was so scared that people wil hate me. or ostracize me or sth. cause there are only TWO 2nd intakers. and she's not in some sections that i'm in. so that makes me the only one!!!! i'm still scared. but suddenly i feel an inner strength..that just might help me to love those i normally won't be able to accept.
you never know how you'll be able to handle a situation until the situation comes and you realise [sometimes] that what you thought would be the way you would react is not quite accurate.
whatever it is. turn to God and praise GOd for everything.
i really really miss LOG a lot. and i realise that i haven't been really praying properly! i always fall asleep. SHUCKS. that's horrid. I MISS LOG. really i do. i pray that GOd will keep all of you safe. not just physically but spiritually and emotionally.
pray for strength. because i seriously need it.
God gives you so many blessings!!! just OPEN YOUR EYES and stop looking at others...look at yourself..and SEE the many blessings. and rejoice (:
i love LOG. (: (: (: (: (: (: !!!!
ricey.
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
hallo logs.
hummhumm this blog hasnt been breathing in awhile.
well there were loads of times that i was typing stuff on this blog and just deleted everything because i simply didnt feel like it.
i dont really understand what didnt feel like it means but yeah..well im here now and i really feel like i have to blog it up.
today was sfx's penitential service..well it was a different version because instead of having our own personal penanace and then leaving, we waited for the entire church to confess finish and then say a general penance.
well hearing that for the first time i really didnt like that idea. not that i had to wait until everyone was done but the fact that i never had a good confession all my life and finally i wanted to just say out everything that i held back before but i just couldnt today because we sort of had to rush through to keep the whole thing short.
then again things just didnt come the way i expected it to. i wasnt bored and irritated like i dreaded myself to be but it was actually an amazing time for me. the lights in the church were switched off and just looking at so many people in my parish coming together and being saved in absolute silence was really an amazing feeling of joy i cant ever describe in words.
since i was singing for the songs i sat in the choir area. well and that was the same place that the loggers and cornerstoners were lining up for. and it was just absolutely amazing watching all of you ppl just now..when i think abt it, there was just a sense of this spiritual depth we share as a group together that ive been hoping to feel for a long time. really the last time i felt such a deep sense of spiritual unity among the loggers was at the retreat and ive always been wishing to feel that way again. im not sure if ya'll felt it but just watching you ppl be renewed in your strength to move on was really beautiful. i had this image that while i was watching ya'll i didnt see ya'll confessing to a priest but i really could see you just alone with Jesus and with the holy spirit all round you.
lent's almost over. i dont know what i feel anymore because in a strange way i wish to start lent all over again.
strange because im willing to go through it all again even though this lent almost killed me with the cross it brought along. ive well been through the absolute worst 2 months of my life and yeah i know loads of ya'll noticed it. and looking back at what ive been through from lent its really a miracle how i lived through all that. and i understand why i dont mind going through all that. because through what ive been through, i didnt let go of my faith in Jesus no matter how bad things just keep getting. and finally when the storm's over i start to realise how much stronger ive grown in the process.
i dont believe that God will give any of us crosses that we cannot carry. if He knows us so damn well im sure that He gave it to us because He wants us to be surprised at our unknown strength and faith that we would discover if we hang on through the pain.
so there.
praise God.
really, really i really praise God for all the friends we have to be there for us, and all our crosses which we will be so proud of carrying when we look back at them at the end of our lives.
and praise God for LOG, yahh?
have a great last week of lent, ppl.
i love you guys!
anne.
Small, painful steps
Good night!
Time's now 11.56pm!
each step of our life is painful....growing up is painful
learning can be painful, especially with hw about
concept no. 1
pain ≠ hurt
how you deal with anything determines how it feels
.
.
.
.
and well....you're all becoming tired
people are falling sick....not taking care of themselves, sleeping late...
as a Catholic, you must take care of yourself, as your body is a temple of the Lord.
Notice all those blanks?
those are the spaces in your lifes and others
have you tried to fill them up?
"eye-power" not enough
gentle but firm you must be to anyone, no matter your relationship to them.....it's the ultimate kindness you can give
.
every part of life is filled with problems, coming one after the other, becoming worse, lessening
knowing that there's a problem is the 1st step to solving it
persevering and changing is the last step
ok...need to do gp now
Good night again
Fire up!
Cinim
12.11
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Sunday, April 16, 2006
HELLO LOG.
while all of you are mugging...i'm here unable to let go of the happiness that i wanted to last forever. and therefore am unable to do anything else other than coming online to waste my time. OH WELL.
i love Jesus! yes? He died for you and me. and what else can i say. just am so grateful. and easter easter easter!!! the day He rose for us. JUBILATION indeed.
i feel so unworthy of His sacrifice for me. and yet i feel so happy. because on this day..we were given so generously..HOPE.LOVE.FAITH.PEACE.JOY. and i don't know all i can do is feel this deep deep happiness and gladness i can't describe. and although i'm feeling sad on the surface because i really don't wnat to go back to school and go baack to reality i was looking forward to holy week like ALOT ALOT and look where i am again back to school. having not touched work at all over the last three-four days. i'm screwed! math test on friday...WHATEVER. but then. deep inside. i'm happy. i'm SO SO happy. and filled with peace. and so.
there goes. only God can penetrate our subconscious minds.
what to say Lord
It's You who give me life
and I can't explain just how
much You mean to me now
that You would save me Lord
give all that i am to You
that everyday i would be
a light that shines Your name.
EVERDAY! IT'S YOU I LIVE FOR!
so i'm feeling weird now. because i'm like a double layered cake...i'm happy and sad all at the same time. anyway. i've really abandoned work for now. I HATE LIFE. all the rubbish that keeps me away from my God. ): but i know everyday He's waiting for me. right there. deep deep inside my heart. waiting for me to jsut REMEMBER HIM. He's always always there for me. ALWAYS.
EVERYDAY! i'll walk with you my lord.
happy easter everyone! there's much to rejoice about! much more to rejoice about than to be upset over. that's for sure. because our God is BIG! there's NOTHING OUR GOD CANNOT DO.
take care everyone. can't wait to see you all again on Sunday!
rice.
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Lent's over...if you haven't realised it
Well...this is the 1st post i'm typing with only my left-hand...you all will know soon why. Time seems a fleeting thing, perhaps that's why our lives seem to be a flickering flame...it's up to us to how brightly we shine. Soon we'll sit for our midyears....argh!
Tommorrow we'll celebrate Maundy Thursday...let's not forget it's importance by busying ourselves too much or enjoying too much too!(playing of words)
May God bless us by being able to share deeply in these mysteries we ourselves are going to be witnesses of. (*_*)
I like this right sided thingy, it simulates the left-handed thingy.
Cini
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Thursday, April 06, 2006
OFF TO WIN THE GRAND PRIZE. WAHAHA.
hello my fellow loggers! i'm going to leave like for italy in a few hours time so i just decided to do a blog entry here, since i've realised i've only blogged once before. haha.
lent has been tough, and i think some of you might agree with me too. we've all been so caught up with our jc life, our ccas, our new environments etc that sometimes we even forget about church, community, or even god. personally, i've been faced with problems with regards to adapting in school, family, schoolwork, or even relationships and sometimes i just feel really helpless. and lost. so many times in this lent i have fallen, till the point when i get so tired i just feel like letting go of this commitment to him. yes my commitment to him, which is to sacrifice, to love, to offer and give myself up to his will. the tests all of us have endured in this lent, god put them there for a reason. so that we might conquer and grow stronger, THROUGH HIM. and believe it or not, no matter how many times i've felt dejected or weary this past month, being able to remember him through constant prayer and to have the courage to pick up my own cross each time i'd fallen has allowed me to grow closer to him.
he reveals his work in his own time, and we impatient humans need to understand this and trust in him. we just have to trust that god will never give up on us, though we are gazillions and he is one. haha. but yea all i'm trying to say is that, no matter what trials and tribulations we face, we must continue to carry our crosses, towards the end of lent, up calvary, which is our final destination. on good friday christ will die to save us, then on easter he will rise, and we will rise with him and rejoice not only because of this great miracle, but also that god has indeed granted us a blessing in disguise this lent. he will do all things well...in his own time. its really up to each one of us individually to make good use of all the experiences, the troubles. he will grant you joy, at the end of it all.
i'm sure at some point of time you guys have stopped for maybe a second, to think about our own community. some of us haven't been very committed, maybe lazy or too busy, some of us have forgotten what to do. maybe our group is struggling? its something every community has to go through. but then again, god has presented a perfect opportunity for all of us to maybe regain our faith in building his kingdom here on earth, and just to spend some precious time with each other. yea i'm referring to what we're (or maybe you guys, cos i won't be ard. boo) gonna be doing this holy week. i just wanna urge everyone to really put in their all into this event, because ultimately we're doing this for god. moreover, he rewards all those who never lose faith in him. this might just somehow revitalise our commitment, because the joy and happiness we can feel at the end of it will indeed be, encouraging. holy week can be said to be one of the best weeks of the year for our community and through each day, we need to continue to remember god, as one body. nothing is better than having a fellow logger praying together with you so faithfully and fervently, needless to say everyone. so lets stay together, encourage each other, and pray. really hope that holy week will be a stepping stone for us, don't lose focus!! cos i'll be praying OVER THE PLANE. ah whatever. hahah.
its quite a pity i'm gonna miss all of this. not really used to being left out of log activities. well i guess i'll see you guys on easter saturday then! i'll miss all of you! take care and may god bless!
oliver.
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Wednesday, April 05, 2006
hey guys..it's been a seemingly long time since i've blogged. let's see how my life is changing alright...
for the last few days i've realised that i am fearful. fearful of the things i know would happen to me...just to make me stronger..and of course everything that is best for me and everything that glorifies God and of course..these things..are crosses.things that will bring pain. things that will hurt. test me. stretch me. and i realised that i started becoming paranoid. becoming scared. afraid that the things that i looked forward to would turn out to be a disaster..afraid that now since things are getting better..my world would crash soon. all these paranoia started to get to me.
and yesterday during mass..[ok i wasn't exactly paying attention..kinda drifted off a bit] i suddenly told myself [or maybe it was God telling me] it's because you keep holding on to earthly things to make you happy!!! and these things would obviously disappoint you. and the thing is all you found joy in was God and the joy that God's way brings...you will never be upset. and then i thought to myself..why should i let other sinners kill the joy that Jesus brings? why should i make myself a sinner..having made so many people suffer along with me just cause i felt i made a mistake in school choice...all cause of other sinners? people who aren't important..people who will come and go. and yet God will be there forever and ever.
number one. i still get upset once in awhile of course. but at least i know where and how to channel those emotions to somewhere else.
next. i was once again reminded that a sin is a sin is a sin. i mean no matter how small you think your sin is. it is still a sin and a sin is a sin IS A SIN!!!!! and how blinded i was. how blinded i was..thinking that i was alright because my sins were minor. but when i went for confession...the Father's reaction hit me straight in the face. and suddenly i realised...no matter how small..it is still a sin!!!! A SIN IS A SIN IS A SIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HAVE TO CHANGE. i have to start to love. i have to stop being so selfish.
you know suddenly today i felt excited suddenly. excited to love those who hate me. because i haven't met the people in my cca yet. and i'm meeting them tmr...and i was so scared that people wil hate me. or ostracize me or sth. cause there are only TWO 2nd intakers. and she's not in some sections that i'm in. so that makes me the only one!!!! i'm still scared. but suddenly i feel an inner strength..that just might help me to love those i normally won't be able to accept.
you never know how you'll be able to handle a situation until the situation comes and you realise [sometimes] that what you thought would be the way you would react is not quite accurate.
whatever it is. turn to God and praise GOd for everything.
i really really miss LOG a lot. and i realise that i haven't been really praying properly! i always fall asleep. SHUCKS. that's horrid. I MISS LOG. really i do. i pray that GOd will keep all of you safe. not just physically but spiritually and emotionally.
pray for strength. because i seriously need it.
God gives you so many blessings!!! just OPEN YOUR EYES and stop looking at others...look at yourself..and SEE the many blessings. and rejoice (:
i love LOG. (: (: (: (: (: (: !!!!
ricey.
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Tuesday, April 04, 2006
hallo logs.
hummhumm this blog hasnt been breathing in awhile.
well there were loads of times that i was typing stuff on this blog and just deleted everything because i simply didnt feel like it.
i dont really understand what didnt feel like it means but yeah..well im here now and i really feel like i have to blog it up.
today was sfx's penitential service..well it was a different version because instead of having our own personal penanace and then leaving, we waited for the entire church to confess finish and then say a general penance.
well hearing that for the first time i really didnt like that idea. not that i had to wait until everyone was done but the fact that i never had a good confession all my life and finally i wanted to just say out everything that i held back before but i just couldnt today because we sort of had to rush through to keep the whole thing short.
then again things just didnt come the way i expected it to. i wasnt bored and irritated like i dreaded myself to be but it was actually an amazing time for me. the lights in the church were switched off and just looking at so many people in my parish coming together and being saved in absolute silence was really an amazing feeling of joy i cant ever describe in words.
since i was singing for the songs i sat in the choir area. well and that was the same place that the loggers and cornerstoners were lining up for. and it was just absolutely amazing watching all of you ppl just now..when i think abt it, there was just a sense of this spiritual depth we share as a group together that ive been hoping to feel for a long time. really the last time i felt such a deep sense of spiritual unity among the loggers was at the retreat and ive always been wishing to feel that way again. im not sure if ya'll felt it but just watching you ppl be renewed in your strength to move on was really beautiful. i had this image that while i was watching ya'll i didnt see ya'll confessing to a priest but i really could see you just alone with Jesus and with the holy spirit all round you.
lent's almost over. i dont know what i feel anymore because in a strange way i wish to start lent all over again.
strange because im willing to go through it all again even though this lent almost killed me with the cross it brought along. ive well been through the absolute worst 2 months of my life and yeah i know loads of ya'll noticed it. and looking back at what ive been through from lent its really a miracle how i lived through all that. and i understand why i dont mind going through all that. because through what ive been through, i didnt let go of my faith in Jesus no matter how bad things just keep getting. and finally when the storm's over i start to realise how much stronger ive grown in the process.
i dont believe that God will give any of us crosses that we cannot carry. if He knows us so damn well im sure that He gave it to us because He wants us to be surprised at our unknown strength and faith that we would discover if we hang on through the pain.
so there.
praise God.
really, really i really praise God for all the friends we have to be there for us, and all our crosses which we will be so proud of carrying when we look back at them at the end of our lives.
and praise God for LOG, yahh?
have a great last week of lent, ppl.
i love you guys!
anne.