Friday, September 24, 2010
Hello everyone.
It's Rice here.
I just suddenly felt it necessary to share what I'm about to share. Just so that maybe you all could gain a better understanding of what I've been going through.
I just realised that my name's not under the LOGBirths anymore :( and it's kinda ouch, but oh well, I kind of deserve it so anyway,
Here goes, we all know I am a terrible LOG member, I come back and then I disappear, and the cycle kind of repeats itself. I just want to firstly say that I am sorry. And I do feel bad. And as much as it sounds really contrived, I really don't mean to. You see, this relationship that I always find myself in as most of you know, in the same way, I've been in and out of it (too many times might I add) and every single time I'm IN it, I'm OUT in LOG, and mostly with GOD as well. Call me weak, call me stupid, but I DON'T KNOW I really don't know WHY I keep walking back into it. And now that he's gone overseas, I'm been really tearing my hair out, calling out to God to PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. You know, I know it's obvious that He's bad for me, because everytime I am in the relationship, my relationship with God and LOG suffers. And as much as I try, really I do, it always pulls me away from God. And now that he's overseas, I sometimes feel so tempted, to just pull myself out of this situation, becaue se it sucks, because after everything, here again I find myself on my bed, and crying. Again. And I feel like just pulling myself out and starting anew with God. But I'm not sure if this is what God's calling me to do. And I'm so frustrated. I've been IN and OUT of this SO MANY TIMES and I just really. really. wish I knew what God wanted for me. Because I'm miserable. A long distance relationship is not what I want for myself, on the other hand, I'm not sure if God is trying to teach me to be more patient, tolerant, independent, and not to give up so easily. I know none of you have answers, and neither do I. But, I guess all I wanted to say is, this is what I've been going through, for the longest time, and it's not that I only make time for LOG when he's not around, it really isn't, although i know it really seems that way, it's that I've been struggling for the longest time to make the two fit in my life, and I haven't, and I'm still struggling with it. And I'M SO FRUSTRATED. And I really want to be in LOG, I want to stay, but sometimes, as I'm sure you all understand, life just gets too blurry you lose sight of it, again and again. And I feel like I'm not done with battling with it yet, and as much as I know I'm a lousy LOG member, I really hope that you guys can at least see what I'm going through and see that I'm struggling with it, and hopefully support me through it.
So please, pray for me. Because I feel like I'm ready, ready to walk with Him, but if only I knew what He wanted for me. And I feel stuck in some kind of rut. All I did today was lie on my bed and sleep and watch TV Series, all the time feeling worse that I have work piling up and wondering what I should do about this torn feeling I have. I feel lost. I really feel lost.
And so, i just want you guys to know that, I really don't mean to go in and out like that, everytime I go out, I admit it's just my weakness that's the cause of it, and I miss you guys. But I just don't know what to do, because of this relationship. Ok now I"m just being repetitive. I really value what I have with you guys a lot, and I really think LOG is really special. And I do not want to lose myself again in a relationship, I do not want to lose God again. So please pray for me :( to find guidance.
Love,
Rice
Generosity
Hi guys
Here's my sharing for the week.. Decided that I've been too lazy and my faith has stagnated too much recently. So maybe I'll do a weekly post.
This Sunday's gospel speaks about Lazarus and the rich man and the reflection focuses on sharing our gifts and various opportunities to be generous.. It's been one month in Hongkong and to be honest, it's very hard to see God's hand in everyday life. I'm enjoying myself, going for classes, meeting and hanging out with new people, good food, shopping and flat parties… but I've been asking myself the question "What more is there?" the past few days. It's been very difficult to see a real way of being Christian here, a real way for me to exercise my faith, a real way to share of myself and my gifts. There are moments where I feel like I'm just going through life here and I'm still quite lost about my purpose is here in Hongkong.
Before I came, I looked forward to Hongkong as a time to rediscover myself and to start afresh.. In some ways, I have with the new friends I have made. But it feels like a never ending orientation and I find myself craving for the moments of deeper conversation that I used to get back home. Upon reflection, my expectations of Hongkong were probably too self-centered. It was "What can Hongkong do for me?" and I failed to ask or pray about what was God's plan in Hongkong? I'm still searching for concrete opportunities to be generous and to share my gifts.. And I really don't know how to, besides being conscious of my actions and thoughts. All I do now is thank God for the many new different experiences and people, but I still don’t know what his plan is behind all this.
Generosity. Personal sharing. This word has been on my mind for the past three weeks when I went through this really long period of angst and emoness about Daryl.. I wouldn't say I'm out of it but God's grace has definitely allowed me to be keep trying. This word first came to me a few Sundays ago at mass, where my thoughts were too overwhelmed with emotions and anger and God reminded me how I wanted him to be happy when we first broke up.. It's been a really difficult attitude to keep, but I feel like it's the right one. It's like how the reflection says " Do we share less because we feel disgust toward those who need what we can give? Or maybe fear holds us back. Or resentment or unforgiving anger. To be united to God, we cannot live in this state. We have to let love motivate us. Love has no limits; it's always generous." It's exactly what I feel and I know its affecting how much I share/give/love. So I'm trying to hold onto generousity, keep praying for me especially tmr (Saturday's gonna be a tough day to get through), cos I feel like this is gonna be a huge struggle for really long :|
Generosity in patience. I think I need to be a more patient and understanding person.. In the past few weeks, I find myself getting irritated with my mum over skype over her naggings which I know are just signs of her concern. But I can't help being irritated. With people here too… Sometimes I find myself caught in awkward situations - cos the two girls I hang out with arent that that enthu about hanging out with the bigger group, while I am and sometimes it makes me feel so pekchek at how complicated little issues become cos of this difference. So I think I gotta be more patient and accepting of differences and situations.
Okay that's it from me, I hope you guys have a good sharing tonight. Missing you guys.
Love, Jess
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Hi everyone
ok on coffee high. So can blog. All look so stressed!!!!
If some of you remembered the the the sunday's gospel regarding the steward who was dishonest or soemting, let me share my interpretation.
To me this is one of the most powerful readings as it mentions the dilemma i feel a bit. To me i'm just like the steward. Given good opportunities, talents(though i think not in this cat), life etc. Basically i've been richly blessed with a good life so far. Hopefully it'll extend to what's a 'good' job. But i waste it, sometimes use it to make life more difficult, or lack the moral courage to initiate something i think is good or stop what's wrong. Though we realised it or not, everyone exerts some authority and power, that comes from god, over each other in some ...way. Maybe it's just an effect. Very often i fail to be in communion, eucharist-centred etcetc.
So what have i done with it? Oh yes for myself, being politically correct so as not to get into the firing butt. Bought the cheapest stuff though i know someone has to take home less wage so as for me to 'enjoy(so economics term!!)' the good or services!! we all each know certain loopholes in the world but to what effect to whose benefit? We do cheat using these loopholes.
But this is the world. I can't possibly change this myself or even with a thousand people. At least without god. So the 'shrewdness' comes into place. But do i try to do good? (oh yes! remember the quote during run bread with nativity. the quote from mother theresa. Actually i forgot what it was exactly. Eh someone place in the commentary.) Do i try to d it for god. I mean the god-given freedom of choice was not meant to be for sin but to be... sin by the means of detaching away from god & everyone everything spiritually.
O yes i felt like asking them why they keep on running bread. But felt too lazy hm mm
Will i follow this system & social common mentality that has created such..pain? probably
(eh if you haven't notice we are called to something. For me, heck)
Oh yes for myself i think uni is going down down down down. Not uni, but me in uni.
Kind of slacking given up hope. Despair is such an appropriate hope. i kind of not want to end up on the streets.
ps i was referring to this parable in 1 of my more reason posts here.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Hi guys,
Saturday, September 11, 2010
just like primary school, or is it
Hey LOG!
haven't posted here for a while, thought I would just give an update on how I'm doing in Uni!
Its been weird, yet comfortable. I feel relaxed, yet anxious.
Its been weird not being so involved in school like I used to be. No longer am I juggling 2 CCAs with studies. This is however, precisely the reason why I feel pretty comfortable at school. Its in my comfort zone, a phrase I find myself saying very often when people pose me the HOWS UNI question. Studying business, fortunately, is my interest and though theory can get dry, its something I can catch on really fast, rather than you know, Benzene rings -.-
I made that conscious decision to not join any time-consuming CCA or to step up for any leadership position. So its weird, yet oomfortable. I can now spend most of my time studying or participating in events/talks/competition that I feel will really help me in my future work.
In my Father's words, "Mark's university life is as relaxed as primary school!" And I would agree as probably for the first time in my life, I do tutorials/homework a few days before submission and I actually do revise after a lecture. Because I complete it ahead of time, I feel pretty relaxed about time, confident that I had grasp the material. But the competition makes me really anxious. I met up with my army buddies last night and a few of them are with me in NUS BIZ. So one of them said to me, "if I were to graduate with the same degree as everyone in the batch, I would have to settle for a 3k a month pay." And I was beaming at him, because that was exactly what I am thinking. The same guy that said that, had already taken exams which allows him to be a qualified insurance seller. He is a part-time professional web designer that can learn a few thousands dollars from it. Respect.
So i'm anxious, as to whether my head start in ACCA will be maintained. I put a lot more stress on myself to get the grades I want.
In Jess' words, "don't you know Mark well enough? He's an ambitious person." Heh, well I think for the past 2 years in church ministry, I haven't exactly been that person yet but as university sets in, i'm returning to my practical self. However, I've been blessed by the 2 years of ministry for it has taught me how to hold on to God come what may. I am chionging in school not just because of my ambition, but what I feel God wants me to do. I hope to have that money to do my social enterprises which I am trying to start now already. Secondly, I need to do well for the first year to secure a scholarship so as to lift the monetary burden off my family's savings. So yeah, multifaceted aims but just one goal.
Pray for me!
Mark
Sunday, September 05, 2010
a public cry for help.
i don't really do this but i don't know what to do, and i haven't blogged here in a while so why not.
i need advice! i have so many things floating around my head and so many things to do that i can't keep track of, and i want to do so many other things which leads me to have no time to do everything! :(
1) i signed up for this Voice Personality Hunt which is like some hosting contest because i thought it would be good to pick up this hosting skill since i'm made to do it from time to time (ahem church events). the thing is: I'm not really keen on doing this whole competition thing, but i'm through to the next round. but theres like training on tuesday night and the QFs are on thursday night and that eats up quite a lot. like i know that its good for me, and its good that im through to the next round, but theres a tremendous amount of inertia to go and do it, and i'm not EXCITED about it. should i be?
2) i signed up for this Theatresports thing (go and google it) and they do stuff from who's line is it anyway and its only 4 sessions, wed nights and sat morns. and this means i can't go for FIDES on wed nights (SMU Catholic Group) for 2 weeks. i'm a BIT intimidated by it but im quite interested to go! like i want to go for this more than the VPH thing. but combined with above, its gonna eat like so much of my week.
3) TUITIONS HERE AND THERE ARE EATING ALL MY TIME!!! ARGH. TWO TUITIONS ON SUNDAY leave me tired and drained for the start of the week, and on top of that i still have my own work to do. i thought i could maintain but its so tiring...
4) My project group is going nowhere! We're supposed to come up with this community involvement project but like the idea is kind of crappy but yet i don't want to step up and like take control of everything because the responsibility is overwhelming (did i mention i hate responsibility) and there's a lot to do. but otherwise everybody is just like going around in general circles! if i try to lead this group then i'll really feel like theres too much on my plate.
5) general feel of being so rushed. meeting deadlines while new deadlines are set for new assignments. theres random homework and readings here and there and i can't keep track of everything.
6) i sprained my ankle almost a month ago and it still hasn't recovered. im scared its a fracture :/ and i'm scared to not be able to train for StanChart @ the end of the year. also considering all the above things.
i feel like im going to get eaten up. please pray for me guys :(((
pOpO (with the bounce)
Thursday, September 02, 2010
gospel according to hipsters
gospel according to hipsters
lol as a non conformist i'm prob hypocritical in many ways to ask u all to read this. but it's a really good read so... yea take a look =)
mel.
Dear LOG,
=) You guys must be surprised to see me post! =)
Was listening to the song "Heart Of Worship" in library...
So Decided to blog in this blog...
life's fun, Life's good.
Life is Jesus!
Hope that everyone is still hanging on!
Keep the prayers flowing guys!
Know that I am slowly fading away from the community. =(
Not coming for sessions, 9am Mass, etc etc...
Well, I'm not making any excuses! =)
I still find myself sitting in Ador room once in awhile,
Praying... and praying...
But one thing that I know will never fail me,
is that the love that you guys showed me...
Well!!!! I still remember Von saying "LaSalle students will disappear from church" to me sometime during May...
Its hilarious,
But its true!!!!
And yes! I felt the hectic schedule already....
I am really really super super stressed out...
Well... this place is not my environment....
I am really falling down the cliff soon! >.<
Well... but I always tell myself,
"Hang on! God will be there, holding your hand, and guiding you through the stages, and no matter what happens, LOG will still be there for support!"
I always tell myself that...
LaSalle's Music faculty is somehow quite stressed...
So ya...
Every week lecturer will get you 3 songs to perform on friday...
And every week's song,
Will confirm be oldies...
So first week I had to sing Robert Johnson's music,
then Elvis Presley, etc etc....
Wonder how come these music is classified under "Pop" Music
Its hilarious really...
and after performance you will get "Gun" down by students and lecturer...
My first week here was terrible...
I just feel like quitting school...
Well, lets not talk about it...
But the point I am getting to is...
I know everyone is in Uni, O levels, etc etc...
I know everyone is stressed up, and busy with their stuffs
but no matter what happens,
lets not let our prayer life fade away...
Lets keep praying and praying...
and Jesus will be there.
Lets work harder guys!!!
Bliss
Zhane
Hello everyone.
It's Rice here.
I just suddenly felt it necessary to share what I'm about to share. Just so that maybe you all could gain a better understanding of what I've been going through.
I just realised that my name's not under the LOGBirths anymore :( and it's kinda ouch, but oh well, I kind of deserve it so anyway,
Here goes, we all know I am a terrible LOG member, I come back and then I disappear, and the cycle kind of repeats itself. I just want to firstly say that I am sorry. And I do feel bad. And as much as it sounds really contrived, I really don't mean to. You see, this relationship that I always find myself in as most of you know, in the same way, I've been in and out of it (too many times might I add) and every single time I'm IN it, I'm OUT in LOG, and mostly with GOD as well. Call me weak, call me stupid, but I DON'T KNOW I really don't know WHY I keep walking back into it. And now that he's gone overseas, I'm been really tearing my hair out, calling out to God to PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO DO. You know, I know it's obvious that He's bad for me, because everytime I am in the relationship, my relationship with God and LOG suffers. And as much as I try, really I do, it always pulls me away from God. And now that he's overseas, I sometimes feel so tempted, to just pull myself out of this situation, becaue se it sucks, because after everything, here again I find myself on my bed, and crying. Again. And I feel like just pulling myself out and starting anew with God. But I'm not sure if this is what God's calling me to do. And I'm so frustrated. I've been IN and OUT of this SO MANY TIMES and I just really. really. wish I knew what God wanted for me. Because I'm miserable. A long distance relationship is not what I want for myself, on the other hand, I'm not sure if God is trying to teach me to be more patient, tolerant, independent, and not to give up so easily. I know none of you have answers, and neither do I. But, I guess all I wanted to say is, this is what I've been going through, for the longest time, and it's not that I only make time for LOG when he's not around, it really isn't, although i know it really seems that way, it's that I've been struggling for the longest time to make the two fit in my life, and I haven't, and I'm still struggling with it. And I'M SO FRUSTRATED. And I really want to be in LOG, I want to stay, but sometimes, as I'm sure you all understand, life just gets too blurry you lose sight of it, again and again. And I feel like I'm not done with battling with it yet, and as much as I know I'm a lousy LOG member, I really hope that you guys can at least see what I'm going through and see that I'm struggling with it, and hopefully support me through it.
So please, pray for me. Because I feel like I'm ready, ready to walk with Him, but if only I knew what He wanted for me. And I feel stuck in some kind of rut. All I did today was lie on my bed and sleep and watch TV Series, all the time feeling worse that I have work piling up and wondering what I should do about this torn feeling I have. I feel lost. I really feel lost.
And so, i just want you guys to know that, I really don't mean to go in and out like that, everytime I go out, I admit it's just my weakness that's the cause of it, and I miss you guys. But I just don't know what to do, because of this relationship. Ok now I"m just being repetitive. I really value what I have with you guys a lot, and I really think LOG is really special. And I do not want to lose myself again in a relationship, I do not want to lose God again. So please pray for me :( to find guidance.
Love,
Rice
7 Comments:
i feel that your love has depth, strength & maturity. maybe loving god & others each differently....
By 
,
September 25, 2010 1:14 AM
<3 <3 here for you ricer!
-jes
By ,
September 25, 2010 1:30 AM
jiayou rice! =) those who hunger for God will find Him!
By 
mark.tang,
September 25, 2010 10:51 AM
Hi Rice,
Life is going to be filled with struggles in both the faith & secular journey but stay strong & I am sure LOG will walk with you throughout your struggles the same way god is too. =)
By Gregory Suresh,
September 25, 2010 11:21 AM
you're in the log birthday scrolllllll now<3 and hughug i'm here for you(:
anne
By ,
September 25, 2010 11:17 PM
not everything that glitters is gold. not all who wander are lost. hahaha quoting from the wrong book here.
im pra-pra-praying for you!
By poey,
September 26, 2010 11:52 PM
Rice!!! Come on! Wipe those tears that you have and be strong! We are all here =) I am guilty cause I am also not back. But nevertheless, Relax! if you need a break just come back uhs! hahas! =)
Bliss
Zhane
By ,
October 12, 2010 10:20 AM
Generosity
Hi guys
Here's my sharing for the week.. Decided that I've been too lazy and my faith has stagnated too much recently. So maybe I'll do a weekly post.
This Sunday's gospel speaks about Lazarus and the rich man and the reflection focuses on sharing our gifts and various opportunities to be generous.. It's been one month in Hongkong and to be honest, it's very hard to see God's hand in everyday life. I'm enjoying myself, going for classes, meeting and hanging out with new people, good food, shopping and flat parties… but I've been asking myself the question "What more is there?" the past few days. It's been very difficult to see a real way of being Christian here, a real way for me to exercise my faith, a real way to share of myself and my gifts. There are moments where I feel like I'm just going through life here and I'm still quite lost about my purpose is here in Hongkong.
Before I came, I looked forward to Hongkong as a time to rediscover myself and to start afresh.. In some ways, I have with the new friends I have made. But it feels like a never ending orientation and I find myself craving for the moments of deeper conversation that I used to get back home. Upon reflection, my expectations of Hongkong were probably too self-centered. It was "What can Hongkong do for me?" and I failed to ask or pray about what was God's plan in Hongkong? I'm still searching for concrete opportunities to be generous and to share my gifts.. And I really don't know how to, besides being conscious of my actions and thoughts. All I do now is thank God for the many new different experiences and people, but I still don’t know what his plan is behind all this.
Generosity. Personal sharing. This word has been on my mind for the past three weeks when I went through this really long period of angst and emoness about Daryl.. I wouldn't say I'm out of it but God's grace has definitely allowed me to be keep trying. This word first came to me a few Sundays ago at mass, where my thoughts were too overwhelmed with emotions and anger and God reminded me how I wanted him to be happy when we first broke up.. It's been a really difficult attitude to keep, but I feel like it's the right one. It's like how the reflection says " Do we share less because we feel disgust toward those who need what we can give? Or maybe fear holds us back. Or resentment or unforgiving anger. To be united to God, we cannot live in this state. We have to let love motivate us. Love has no limits; it's always generous." It's exactly what I feel and I know its affecting how much I share/give/love. So I'm trying to hold onto generousity, keep praying for me especially tmr (Saturday's gonna be a tough day to get through), cos I feel like this is gonna be a huge struggle for really long :|
Generosity in patience. I think I need to be a more patient and understanding person.. In the past few weeks, I find myself getting irritated with my mum over skype over her naggings which I know are just signs of her concern. But I can't help being irritated. With people here too… Sometimes I find myself caught in awkward situations - cos the two girls I hang out with arent that that enthu about hanging out with the bigger group, while I am and sometimes it makes me feel so pekchek at how complicated little issues become cos of this difference. So I think I gotta be more patient and accepting of differences and situations.
Okay that's it from me, I hope you guys have a good sharing tonight. Missing you guys.
Love, Jess
5 Comments:
lol totally understands e last para jess. both abt mum and complicated little issues.
By MeL,
September 24, 2010 1:46 PM
super missed you during sharing. (: miss my random chats with you!
By ,
September 25, 2010 1:31 AM
oh that was me. jes. haha
By ,
September 25, 2010 1:31 AM
This comment has been removed by the author.
By Jess,
September 25, 2010 1:58 PM
Miss you too Jes :) And seriously, all of us are internet junkies. We're forever online, comments come in so quickly but no one bloggsss.
By Jess,
September 25, 2010 2:00 PM
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Hi everyone
ok on coffee high. So can blog. All look so stressed!!!!
If some of you remembered the the the sunday's gospel regarding the steward who was dishonest or soemting, let me share my interpretation.
To me this is one of the most powerful readings as it mentions the dilemma i feel a bit. To me i'm just like the steward. Given good opportunities, talents(though i think not in this cat), life etc. Basically i've been richly blessed with a good life so far. Hopefully it'll extend to what's a 'good' job. But i waste it, sometimes use it to make life more difficult, or lack the moral courage to initiate something i think is good or stop what's wrong. Though we realised it or not, everyone exerts some authority and power, that comes from god, over each other in some ...way. Maybe it's just an effect. Very often i fail to be in communion, eucharist-centred etcetc.
So what have i done with it? Oh yes for myself, being politically correct so as not to get into the firing butt. Bought the cheapest stuff though i know someone has to take home less wage so as for me to 'enjoy(so economics term!!)' the good or services!! we all each know certain loopholes in the world but to what effect to whose benefit? We do cheat using these loopholes.
But this is the world. I can't possibly change this myself or even with a thousand people. At least without god. So the 'shrewdness' comes into place. But do i try to do good? (oh yes! remember the quote during run bread with nativity. the quote from mother theresa. Actually i forgot what it was exactly. Eh someone place in the commentary.) Do i try to d it for god. I mean the god-given freedom of choice was not meant to be for sin but to be... sin by the means of detaching away from god & everyone everything spiritually.
O yes i felt like asking them why they keep on running bread. But felt too lazy hm mm
Will i follow this system & social common mentality that has created such..pain? probably
(eh if you haven't notice we are called to something. For me, heck)
Oh yes for myself i think uni is going down down down down. Not uni, but me in uni.
Kind of slacking given up hope. Despair is such an appropriate hope. i kind of not want to end up on the streets.
ps i was referring to this parable in 1 of my more reason posts here.
3 Comments:
who posted! wonderful sharing :D
By mark.tang,
September 24, 2010 2:41 PM
I think its poey =)
By ,
September 24, 2010 9:58 PM
its not me, i think its dom? lol
By ,
September 26, 2010 11:54 PM
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Hi guys,
von and I and the other sfx pple went for ayd training and i think the speaker was quite good. We won't be able to watch the video but you can see the trailer. it'll be used for ayd but for only. It's an inspiring vid about trusting an letting go. Will share more about it soon.
have a good week!
-jes
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Saturday, September 11, 2010
just like primary school, or is it
Hey LOG!
haven't posted here for a while, thought I would just give an update on how I'm doing in Uni!
Its been weird, yet comfortable. I feel relaxed, yet anxious.
Its been weird not being so involved in school like I used to be. No longer am I juggling 2 CCAs with studies. This is however, precisely the reason why I feel pretty comfortable at school. Its in my comfort zone, a phrase I find myself saying very often when people pose me the HOWS UNI question. Studying business, fortunately, is my interest and though theory can get dry, its something I can catch on really fast, rather than you know, Benzene rings -.-
I made that conscious decision to not join any time-consuming CCA or to step up for any leadership position. So its weird, yet oomfortable. I can now spend most of my time studying or participating in events/talks/competition that I feel will really help me in my future work.
In my Father's words, "Mark's university life is as relaxed as primary school!" And I would agree as probably for the first time in my life, I do tutorials/homework a few days before submission and I actually do revise after a lecture. Because I complete it ahead of time, I feel pretty relaxed about time, confident that I had grasp the material. But the competition makes me really anxious. I met up with my army buddies last night and a few of them are with me in NUS BIZ. So one of them said to me, "if I were to graduate with the same degree as everyone in the batch, I would have to settle for a 3k a month pay." And I was beaming at him, because that was exactly what I am thinking. The same guy that said that, had already taken exams which allows him to be a qualified insurance seller. He is a part-time professional web designer that can learn a few thousands dollars from it. Respect.
So i'm anxious, as to whether my head start in ACCA will be maintained. I put a lot more stress on myself to get the grades I want.
In Jess' words, "don't you know Mark well enough? He's an ambitious person." Heh, well I think for the past 2 years in church ministry, I haven't exactly been that person yet but as university sets in, i'm returning to my practical self. However, I've been blessed by the 2 years of ministry for it has taught me how to hold on to God come what may. I am chionging in school not just because of my ambition, but what I feel God wants me to do. I hope to have that money to do my social enterprises which I am trying to start now already. Secondly, I need to do well for the first year to secure a scholarship so as to lift the monetary burden off my family's savings. So yeah, multifaceted aims but just one goal.
Pray for me!
Mark
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Sunday, September 05, 2010
a public cry for help.
i don't really do this but i don't know what to do, and i haven't blogged here in a while so why not.
i need advice! i have so many things floating around my head and so many things to do that i can't keep track of, and i want to do so many other things which leads me to have no time to do everything! :(
1) i signed up for this Voice Personality Hunt which is like some hosting contest because i thought it would be good to pick up this hosting skill since i'm made to do it from time to time (ahem church events). the thing is: I'm not really keen on doing this whole competition thing, but i'm through to the next round. but theres like training on tuesday night and the QFs are on thursday night and that eats up quite a lot. like i know that its good for me, and its good that im through to the next round, but theres a tremendous amount of inertia to go and do it, and i'm not EXCITED about it. should i be?
2) i signed up for this Theatresports thing (go and google it) and they do stuff from who's line is it anyway and its only 4 sessions, wed nights and sat morns. and this means i can't go for FIDES on wed nights (SMU Catholic Group) for 2 weeks. i'm a BIT intimidated by it but im quite interested to go! like i want to go for this more than the VPH thing. but combined with above, its gonna eat like so much of my week.
3) TUITIONS HERE AND THERE ARE EATING ALL MY TIME!!! ARGH. TWO TUITIONS ON SUNDAY leave me tired and drained for the start of the week, and on top of that i still have my own work to do. i thought i could maintain but its so tiring...
4) My project group is going nowhere! We're supposed to come up with this community involvement project but like the idea is kind of crappy but yet i don't want to step up and like take control of everything because the responsibility is overwhelming (did i mention i hate responsibility) and there's a lot to do. but otherwise everybody is just like going around in general circles! if i try to lead this group then i'll really feel like theres too much on my plate.
5) general feel of being so rushed. meeting deadlines while new deadlines are set for new assignments. theres random homework and readings here and there and i can't keep track of everything.
6) i sprained my ankle almost a month ago and it still hasn't recovered. im scared its a fracture :/ and i'm scared to not be able to train for StanChart @ the end of the year. also considering all the above things.
i feel like im going to get eaten up. please pray for me guys :(((
pOpO (with the bounce)
Labels: help.
1 Comments:
poeeey! try praying about your decisions and i say do what you like the best! keeping you in prayers, catch up on msn soon pleeease.
By ,
September 07, 2010 5:29 PM
Thursday, September 02, 2010
gospel according to hipsters
gospel according to hipsters
lol as a non conformist i'm prob hypocritical in many ways to ask u all to read this. but it's a really good read so... yea take a look =)
mel.
0 Comments:
______________________________________________Dear LOG,
=) You guys must be surprised to see me post! =)
Was listening to the song "Heart Of Worship" in library...
So Decided to blog in this blog...
life's fun, Life's good.
Life is Jesus!
Hope that everyone is still hanging on!
Keep the prayers flowing guys!
Know that I am slowly fading away from the community. =(
Not coming for sessions, 9am Mass, etc etc...
Well, I'm not making any excuses! =)
I still find myself sitting in Ador room once in awhile,
Praying... and praying...
But one thing that I know will never fail me,
is that the love that you guys showed me...
Well!!!! I still remember Von saying "LaSalle students will disappear from church" to me sometime during May...
Its hilarious,
But its true!!!!
And yes! I felt the hectic schedule already....
I am really really super super stressed out...
Well... this place is not my environment....
I am really falling down the cliff soon! >.<
Well... but I always tell myself,
"Hang on! God will be there, holding your hand, and guiding you through the stages, and no matter what happens, LOG will still be there for support!"
I always tell myself that...
LaSalle's Music faculty is somehow quite stressed...
So ya...
Every week lecturer will get you 3 songs to perform on friday...
And every week's song,
Will confirm be oldies...
So first week I had to sing Robert Johnson's music,
then Elvis Presley, etc etc....
Wonder how come these music is classified under "Pop" Music
Its hilarious really...
and after performance you will get "Gun" down by students and lecturer...
My first week here was terrible...
I just feel like quitting school...
Well, lets not talk about it...
But the point I am getting to is...
I know everyone is in Uni, O levels, etc etc...
I know everyone is stressed up, and busy with their stuffs
but no matter what happens,
lets not let our prayer life fade away...
Lets keep praying and praying...
and Jesus will be there.
Lets work harder guys!!!
Bliss
Zhane