Thursday, February 02, 2006
hey there everyone.. hmm normally im busy coaxing people into posting their sharings, but now im finally the one sharing. yay =D about time la.. ive not been feeling too well for so long, but been too busy to post it here.. yups.
anyways, as many of you know, im currently in nj and im very happy here. having lots of fun and stuff.. but there's one thing that's bugging me.. ever since i joined track and field, ive been feeling so lethargic and moody outside of school (cos trng is after school) probably due to the uber tiring trainings and all.. and i feel that this has sorta strained my relationship with my family, with you all, and most alarmingly... with God. something like when i come home i dont feel in the mood to talk to anyone, so i sorta just brush my parents and bro off when they speak to me.. then on msn i dont talk to u all cos not in the mood to (why am i even online man?).. then at night i always pray just before i sleep.. so it's like of cos im super tired and cant wait to sleep, such that i end up rushing thru my prayer.. and i must admit, ive even fallen asleep while praying or missed praying altogether.. i dont want this to be a habit cos every second spent with God constitutes the most important moment of the day.. yea. but it's kinda annoying cos i have trainin on mondays, wednesdays, thursdays, fridays and saturdays.. and pe on tuesdays. u get the idea. easier said than done heh. so this is one thing im strugglin with.. not to mention the time-consuming tutorials.
next thing is that in nj, i try to have lots of fun la.. such that i actually lose my christian bearings at times. in class and more notably out of class, im like one of the nosier, crazier, funnier people.. u all shud know la. but while it's good to let my hair down (and it's rather long now!), i sometimes do it at the expense of what i know is good.. for example, i can say vulgar or dirty stuff as part of a joke, or i can make a friend the butt of a joke.. and in the process i compromise the being of Christ in me.. i make a mockery of the fact that Christ wishes to act and speak thru me.. then it's like instead of being the Hands and Feet of God, i become a dysfunctional part that succumbs to sin.. not that it's unforgivable to sin.. but sometimes i do question if i even bother putting in the effort to ensure that i remain as Christ-centered as possible.. this is something like what clarice expressed previously. so i guess i reallie gotta pray that Christ will provide constant reminders to keep me in check when im having fun, so that i do not go misbehave too much or whatever. and so that i can remain faithful to His service even in my daily activities.. once again, easier said than done. bleh.
so yea.. just wanna share with everyone what my struggles are. i invite you all to pray for me then, as well as for all those who have also expressed their struggles. praise god for this avenue of expressing ourselves. yay =)
now i, i belong to you
all i need, your spirit your word your truth
hear my cry, my deep desire to know you more...
-justin
hey there everyone.. hmm normally im busy coaxing people into posting their sharings, but now im finally the one sharing. yay =D about time la.. ive not been feeling too well for so long, but been too busy to post it here.. yups.
anyways, as many of you know, im currently in nj and im very happy here. having lots of fun and stuff.. but there's one thing that's bugging me.. ever since i joined track and field, ive been feeling so lethargic and moody outside of school (cos trng is after school) probably due to the uber tiring trainings and all.. and i feel that this has sorta strained my relationship with my family, with you all, and most alarmingly... with God. something like when i come home i dont feel in the mood to talk to anyone, so i sorta just brush my parents and bro off when they speak to me.. then on msn i dont talk to u all cos not in the mood to (why am i even online man?).. then at night i always pray just before i sleep.. so it's like of cos im super tired and cant wait to sleep, such that i end up rushing thru my prayer.. and i must admit, ive even fallen asleep while praying or missed praying altogether.. i dont want this to be a habit cos every second spent with God constitutes the most important moment of the day.. yea. but it's kinda annoying cos i have trainin on mondays, wednesdays, thursdays, fridays and saturdays.. and pe on tuesdays. u get the idea. easier said than done heh. so this is one thing im strugglin with.. not to mention the time-consuming tutorials.
next thing is that in nj, i try to have lots of fun la.. such that i actually lose my christian bearings at times. in class and more notably out of class, im like one of the nosier, crazier, funnier people.. u all shud know la. but while it's good to let my hair down (and it's rather long now!), i sometimes do it at the expense of what i know is good.. for example, i can say vulgar or dirty stuff as part of a joke, or i can make a friend the butt of a joke.. and in the process i compromise the being of Christ in me.. i make a mockery of the fact that Christ wishes to act and speak thru me.. then it's like instead of being the Hands and Feet of God, i become a dysfunctional part that succumbs to sin.. not that it's unforgivable to sin.. but sometimes i do question if i even bother putting in the effort to ensure that i remain as Christ-centered as possible.. this is something like what clarice expressed previously. so i guess i reallie gotta pray that Christ will provide constant reminders to keep me in check when im having fun, so that i do not go misbehave too much or whatever. and so that i can remain faithful to His service even in my daily activities.. once again, easier said than done. bleh.
so yea.. just wanna share with everyone what my struggles are. i invite you all to pray for me then, as well as for all those who have also expressed their struggles. praise god for this avenue of expressing ourselves. yay =)
now i, i belong to you
all i need, your spirit your word your truth
hear my cry, my deep desire to know you more...
-justin