Tuesday, April 04, 2006
hallo logs.
hummhumm this blog hasnt been breathing in awhile.
well there were loads of times that i was typing stuff on this blog and just deleted everything because i simply didnt feel like it.
i dont really understand what didnt feel like it means but yeah..well im here now and i really feel like i have to blog it up.
today was sfx's penitential service..well it was a different version because instead of having our own personal penanace and then leaving, we waited for the entire church to confess finish and then say a general penance.
well hearing that for the first time i really didnt like that idea. not that i had to wait until everyone was done but the fact that i never had a good confession all my life and finally i wanted to just say out everything that i held back before but i just couldnt today because we sort of had to rush through to keep the whole thing short.
then again things just didnt come the way i expected it to. i wasnt bored and irritated like i dreaded myself to be but it was actually an amazing time for me. the lights in the church were switched off and just looking at so many people in my parish coming together and being saved in absolute silence was really an amazing feeling of joy i cant ever describe in words.
since i was singing for the songs i sat in the choir area. well and that was the same place that the loggers and cornerstoners were lining up for. and it was just absolutely amazing watching all of you ppl just now..when i think abt it, there was just a sense of this spiritual depth we share as a group together that ive been hoping to feel for a long time. really the last time i felt such a deep sense of spiritual unity among the loggers was at the retreat and ive always been wishing to feel that way again. im not sure if ya'll felt it but just watching you ppl be renewed in your strength to move on was really beautiful. i had this image that while i was watching ya'll i didnt see ya'll confessing to a priest but i really could see you just alone with Jesus and with the holy spirit all round you.
lent's almost over. i dont know what i feel anymore because in a strange way i wish to start lent all over again.
strange because im willing to go through it all again even though this lent almost killed me with the cross it brought along. ive well been through the absolute worst 2 months of my life and yeah i know loads of ya'll noticed it. and looking back at what ive been through from lent its really a miracle how i lived through all that. and i understand why i dont mind going through all that. because through what ive been through, i didnt let go of my faith in Jesus no matter how bad things just keep getting. and finally when the storm's over i start to realise how much stronger ive grown in the process.
i dont believe that God will give any of us crosses that we cannot carry. if He knows us so damn well im sure that He gave it to us because He wants us to be surprised at our unknown strength and faith that we would discover if we hang on through the pain.
so there.
praise God.
really, really i really praise God for all the friends we have to be there for us, and all our crosses which we will be so proud of carrying when we look back at them at the end of our lives.
and praise God for LOG, yahh?
have a great last week of lent, ppl.
i love you guys!
anne.
hallo logs.
hummhumm this blog hasnt been breathing in awhile.
well there were loads of times that i was typing stuff on this blog and just deleted everything because i simply didnt feel like it.
i dont really understand what didnt feel like it means but yeah..well im here now and i really feel like i have to blog it up.
today was sfx's penitential service..well it was a different version because instead of having our own personal penanace and then leaving, we waited for the entire church to confess finish and then say a general penance.
well hearing that for the first time i really didnt like that idea. not that i had to wait until everyone was done but the fact that i never had a good confession all my life and finally i wanted to just say out everything that i held back before but i just couldnt today because we sort of had to rush through to keep the whole thing short.
then again things just didnt come the way i expected it to. i wasnt bored and irritated like i dreaded myself to be but it was actually an amazing time for me. the lights in the church were switched off and just looking at so many people in my parish coming together and being saved in absolute silence was really an amazing feeling of joy i cant ever describe in words.
since i was singing for the songs i sat in the choir area. well and that was the same place that the loggers and cornerstoners were lining up for. and it was just absolutely amazing watching all of you ppl just now..when i think abt it, there was just a sense of this spiritual depth we share as a group together that ive been hoping to feel for a long time. really the last time i felt such a deep sense of spiritual unity among the loggers was at the retreat and ive always been wishing to feel that way again. im not sure if ya'll felt it but just watching you ppl be renewed in your strength to move on was really beautiful. i had this image that while i was watching ya'll i didnt see ya'll confessing to a priest but i really could see you just alone with Jesus and with the holy spirit all round you.
lent's almost over. i dont know what i feel anymore because in a strange way i wish to start lent all over again.
strange because im willing to go through it all again even though this lent almost killed me with the cross it brought along. ive well been through the absolute worst 2 months of my life and yeah i know loads of ya'll noticed it. and looking back at what ive been through from lent its really a miracle how i lived through all that. and i understand why i dont mind going through all that. because through what ive been through, i didnt let go of my faith in Jesus no matter how bad things just keep getting. and finally when the storm's over i start to realise how much stronger ive grown in the process.
i dont believe that God will give any of us crosses that we cannot carry. if He knows us so damn well im sure that He gave it to us because He wants us to be surprised at our unknown strength and faith that we would discover if we hang on through the pain.
so there.
praise God.
really, really i really praise God for all the friends we have to be there for us, and all our crosses which we will be so proud of carrying when we look back at them at the end of our lives.
and praise God for LOG, yahh?
have a great last week of lent, ppl.
i love you guys!
anne.