Monday, May 08, 2006
hello hello log.
never would i have expected that i could grow to love all of you so much when i joined. i really do. and thank you all for just being the way you are. because since all of us have been formed in God's image..we are nothing less then PERFECT the way we are. and i love you all!
well after session i felt the log love! and it's a wonderful feeling. i was so overwhelmed i cried. log love! (: well. but deep inside i still dreaded my pw meeting..although much less than before session. so alright i went for it with some renewed strength and with much more determination. TO LOVE. TO ACCEPT.
well i didn't have to try. God did it for me.
while the two of them were aruging like mad people..sometimes making no sense. me and the other girl sat there looking at each other and laughing at them. and at least i realised i wasn't the only one who thought some of the things said made no sense. and i just felt almost totally NOTirritable. and i was amused actually.
well then this guy told the other guy..i guess it got a little heated. something to this effect la... "it's your attitude...that's why you're so unpopular...last time CHS also like that..now in jc also unpopular." and then i was like oh shit. oh dear. then he looked so sad. he suddenly had nothing to say. so i was looking at him...so i asked him if he was alright. then the other one said "you ok or not" then he went on to say how we all love him for who he is. and i thought. wow. that came as a shocker. and so thus i can say..i can see God in them!
and so i have found out. don't try so damn bloody hard...and then get frustrated that you can't..because you know it. YOU KNOW THAT WE HUMANS ARE WEAK. so just keep persevering..keeping in mind..knowing that you have to LOVE..to ACCEPT..and learn to see God in people ..the most unexpected people...keep in mind..hold on to faith..TRUST. and then wahla! God does it for you..as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
can't say i trusted. but now i can tell you all to trust! [though it's hard] totally trusting Him. like a trust fall...fall totally into His hands...although they are so warm, comfy, ever there..with all the muscles tensed up waiting for us to fall...but sometimes we just don't. can't trust the things we can't see..because His hands are too far down? and we are the ones who have not yet seen and yet believe.
my pw people asked me yesterday.
"have you seen God?"
and i said yes.
of course i went on to say it was figuratively.
anyway they said "If i were to see God, i will believe."
and somehow..somewhere..inside..i cringed. for somehow..i knew. that one day they will see. one day they will believe.
and if it's up to me. then i'm gonna need a hell lot of help and strenth. but. everything in His time.
and TRUST!
(:
psalms 70:5
I am weak and poor;
come to me quickly, O God
You are my saviour and my Lord-
hurry to my aid!
rice
hello hello log.
never would i have expected that i could grow to love all of you so much when i joined. i really do. and thank you all for just being the way you are. because since all of us have been formed in God's image..we are nothing less then PERFECT the way we are. and i love you all!
well after session i felt the log love! and it's a wonderful feeling. i was so overwhelmed i cried. log love! (: well. but deep inside i still dreaded my pw meeting..although much less than before session. so alright i went for it with some renewed strength and with much more determination. TO LOVE. TO ACCEPT.
well i didn't have to try. God did it for me.
while the two of them were aruging like mad people..sometimes making no sense. me and the other girl sat there looking at each other and laughing at them. and at least i realised i wasn't the only one who thought some of the things said made no sense. and i just felt almost totally NOTirritable. and i was amused actually.
well then this guy told the other guy..i guess it got a little heated. something to this effect la... "it's your attitude...that's why you're so unpopular...last time CHS also like that..now in jc also unpopular." and then i was like oh shit. oh dear. then he looked so sad. he suddenly had nothing to say. so i was looking at him...so i asked him if he was alright. then the other one said "you ok or not" then he went on to say how we all love him for who he is. and i thought. wow. that came as a shocker. and so thus i can say..i can see God in them!
and so i have found out. don't try so damn bloody hard...and then get frustrated that you can't..because you know it. YOU KNOW THAT WE HUMANS ARE WEAK. so just keep persevering..keeping in mind..knowing that you have to LOVE..to ACCEPT..and learn to see God in people ..the most unexpected people...keep in mind..hold on to faith..TRUST. and then wahla! God does it for you..as if it was the easiest thing in the world.
can't say i trusted. but now i can tell you all to trust! [though it's hard] totally trusting Him. like a trust fall...fall totally into His hands...although they are so warm, comfy, ever there..with all the muscles tensed up waiting for us to fall...but sometimes we just don't. can't trust the things we can't see..because His hands are too far down? and we are the ones who have not yet seen and yet believe.
my pw people asked me yesterday.
"have you seen God?"
and i said yes.
of course i went on to say it was figuratively.
anyway they said "If i were to see God, i will believe."
and somehow..somewhere..inside..i cringed. for somehow..i knew. that one day they will see. one day they will believe.
and if it's up to me. then i'm gonna need a hell lot of help and strenth. but. everything in His time.
and TRUST!
(:
psalms 70:5
I am weak and poor;
come to me quickly, O God
You are my saviour and my Lord-
hurry to my aid!
rice