Sunday, June 25, 2006
every step i take i take in you!
hello everybody. i want to share. so you better damn well listen.
you know the whole youth mass thing. i admit i havent paid attention to it much la. its like whatever im a small part of it i dont really care. yeah. like one of those passing things that you're just made to do. then when i realised i had to do the sharing i was like f**k it. i just really didnt want to do it but theres no avoiding it since i agreed right.
so i wrote it on saturday morning and emailed it to jon. like a rushed one because i thought i just had to write one and didnt have to give and father would pick. but not the case. found out later i had to give the testimonial. was like. screw.
so during halftime between sweden and germany i trudged upstairs to rewrite it (keep in mind i was really DAMN BLOODY ANGRY THAT SWEDEN WERE LOSING). then before i did it, i sat down to pray. i prayed for a change of heart and the strength and courage to give the testimonial. then i realised i was in no position to be angry. im writing a testimonial for god im giving a testimonial for god so whats the bloody point if god isnt the centre of my heart and god isnt my purpose?! there was no reason to give a testimonial about god if all thats on your mind is "why do i have to do this shit" so my mind just relaxed. and i really prayed for god to work his words in my testimonial and maybe he did because i changed the words and i put more heart into it.
then went to church at 9+ right? then the spiritual prep ( which i thought was really good btw i want to affirm them for the prep ) completely changed me. you know how before public speaking you always nervous and your heart is pounding hard into your ribcage andyou know you're gonna screw up? well the testimonial i wrote wasnt testimonial-ish so i was kinda worried. but after spiritual prep i knew the spirit was in the room and i didnt feel the panic. i just felt really peaceful and happy and my teeny-angst was gone
even during mass before testimonial time i wasnt particularly worried. like i knew i couldnt go wrong. by the time i reached the pulpit my heart stopped pounding and i just gave the testimonial. i dont know if it was like magical but it doesnt matter because if it touched even one person then the testimonial was meant especially for him/her.
so whats the moral of the story? you cannot win against god. the odds are stacked. when god gives you a purpose to do his work, you either do it for god or not do it at all, damit.
so i want to thank god for his guidance. i know it wasnt a great testimonial or something but it helped me to realise something. if you really do it for god your heart will rejoice because the spirit is moving within you.
then in the evening for no reason i just started singing that every step i take i take in you song. and im not a really p&w singing kinda person. so its a sign! lets take every step with god purposefully deservedly and joyfully.
and im sorry for calling all of you insignificant. i meant in-significant. like. all of you are a part of significance. something like that yah. good luck for common tests.
<3 poey
every step i take i take in you!
hello everybody. i want to share. so you better damn well listen.
you know the whole youth mass thing. i admit i havent paid attention to it much la. its like whatever im a small part of it i dont really care. yeah. like one of those passing things that you're just made to do. then when i realised i had to do the sharing i was like f**k it. i just really didnt want to do it but theres no avoiding it since i agreed right.
so i wrote it on saturday morning and emailed it to jon. like a rushed one because i thought i just had to write one and didnt have to give and father would pick. but not the case. found out later i had to give the testimonial. was like. screw.
so during halftime between sweden and germany i trudged upstairs to rewrite it (keep in mind i was really DAMN BLOODY ANGRY THAT SWEDEN WERE LOSING). then before i did it, i sat down to pray. i prayed for a change of heart and the strength and courage to give the testimonial. then i realised i was in no position to be angry. im writing a testimonial for god im giving a testimonial for god so whats the bloody point if god isnt the centre of my heart and god isnt my purpose?! there was no reason to give a testimonial about god if all thats on your mind is "why do i have to do this shit" so my mind just relaxed. and i really prayed for god to work his words in my testimonial and maybe he did because i changed the words and i put more heart into it.
then went to church at 9+ right? then the spiritual prep ( which i thought was really good btw i want to affirm them for the prep ) completely changed me. you know how before public speaking you always nervous and your heart is pounding hard into your ribcage andyou know you're gonna screw up? well the testimonial i wrote wasnt testimonial-ish so i was kinda worried. but after spiritual prep i knew the spirit was in the room and i didnt feel the panic. i just felt really peaceful and happy and my teeny-angst was gone
even during mass before testimonial time i wasnt particularly worried. like i knew i couldnt go wrong. by the time i reached the pulpit my heart stopped pounding and i just gave the testimonial. i dont know if it was like magical but it doesnt matter because if it touched even one person then the testimonial was meant especially for him/her.
so whats the moral of the story? you cannot win against god. the odds are stacked. when god gives you a purpose to do his work, you either do it for god or not do it at all, damit.
so i want to thank god for his guidance. i know it wasnt a great testimonial or something but it helped me to realise something. if you really do it for god your heart will rejoice because the spirit is moving within you.
then in the evening for no reason i just started singing that every step i take i take in you song. and im not a really p&w singing kinda person. so its a sign! lets take every step with god purposefully deservedly and joyfully.
and im sorry for calling all of you insignificant. i meant in-significant. like. all of you are a part of significance. something like that yah. good luck for common tests.
<3 poey