Monday, January 21, 2008
von had a bad bad day.
think im gonna fail the stupid quiz i took this morning, and tt covered like some 10%. and then i forgot to bring my lab coat today. thank god zach didnt have lab so i could borrow his. just came home from a meeting where my assistants and i got shot down like mad. but then again, it has always been like that. ntg new there. you either defend and then get rebutted even more, or shut up and just take it in. den the final blow came when i sat down to open my emails. two of my programmers want to quit.
am i not good enough or what. didnt i say i want commitment. but for the life of me, i couldnt let out anything. it just felt numb. it wasnt surprising anyway.
until i happen to pass by log blog and i saw 'swee's post'. yep, swee did it. made me sob like crazy. im not in tekong, but i might as well be. cuz i also, cling to log like anything. i know its only monday but i miss log like everyday, even the girls pls. everytime i gotta step into the lounge, i think of the painful politics i might face. den i think of log, and how you guys are the ones who know how to love unconditionally. and tt gives me strength to walk into tt room to love others unconditionally. cuz im part of log too.
at this stage in my life, i've nv felt further away from god ever. its like i've neglected him so much, i just wanna get the stuff in school over and done with so i can go back for good. so i stray even more. i dont pray. cuz im not fit to even talk to god. i can get thru this 'by myself', just until it all ends in april/may.
so pray for me. cuz you and i both know i cannot do this alone.
am i the only one who's traded
in the altar for the stage
von had a bad bad day.
think im gonna fail the stupid quiz i took this morning, and tt covered like some 10%. and then i forgot to bring my lab coat today. thank god zach didnt have lab so i could borrow his. just came home from a meeting where my assistants and i got shot down like mad. but then again, it has always been like that. ntg new there. you either defend and then get rebutted even more, or shut up and just take it in. den the final blow came when i sat down to open my emails. two of my programmers want to quit.
am i not good enough or what. didnt i say i want commitment. but for the life of me, i couldnt let out anything. it just felt numb. it wasnt surprising anyway.
until i happen to pass by log blog and i saw 'swee's post'. yep, swee did it. made me sob like crazy. im not in tekong, but i might as well be. cuz i also, cling to log like anything. i know its only monday but i miss log like everyday, even the girls pls. everytime i gotta step into the lounge, i think of the painful politics i might face. den i think of log, and how you guys are the ones who know how to love unconditionally. and tt gives me strength to walk into tt room to love others unconditionally. cuz im part of log too.
at this stage in my life, i've nv felt further away from god ever. its like i've neglected him so much, i just wanna get the stuff in school over and done with so i can go back for good. so i stray even more. i dont pray. cuz im not fit to even talk to god. i can get thru this 'by myself', just until it all ends in april/may.
so pray for me. cuz you and i both know i cannot do this alone.
am i the only one who's traded
in the altar for the stage