Saturday, February 02, 2008
gifts

ello log! sorry for having to do this :x i am having. relationship problems. and a weekend is obviously insufficient to remedy such grave problems of the heart. haha okay bullshitting. basically i cant come. SIGH. im really sorry i cant make it ): i look forward to sundays, but this sunday cannot la. ): hope u all can understand

anyway. i prayed in camp okay! even before joan send msg. i was discerning my gifts while lying on my bed and asking god for some direction in my actions. faith kept coming up and struck me for quite long so i thought hard about it. how strong is my faith? i think my faith while in NS has increased ALOT. besides the excessive swearing, you know that we have been pushed quite out of our comfort zones, and initially it was a very big struggle. i prayed before every meal and when i slept, and even like during all the activities to offer everything up to god. when your brain switches off, it becomes easier to pray... somehow : D

anyway, i actually reailse that i dont know still what are considered gifts. when i prayed, i felt god telling me that my faith isn't strong enough, especially during this time. its GROWING, but i still dont center god in my life. if i dont pray, then i can't be sure of my gifts, and i can't exercise them if i dont have strong enough faith to believe that its from god!

okay if you dont understand all of that... sorry. im still praying ): i cannot offer what gifts i have yet ):

ANYWAY im supposed to offer affirmations for community right! i dont think i know enough to talk in terms of gifts, but i can offer what i have okay (:

many people in our community are blessed with wonderful musical talents (: and we all know that la. von jon liver nise etc but like who said, we are able to come together and worship and bring the presence of god through the music and singing, with harmonising and everything like joan jes. i believe that log can be quite power at worship!

but even more than just this "generic" gift of music, i want to affirm oliver! because during the youth camp, he was the only keyboardist and played for everything. even though we called it saikang, i think it comes from god that he was the only one playing, that he answered and he persevered through this calling! so praise god! i dont know if its a gift but its the first thing that came to mind when i was praying.

then another person i want to affirm! cos she very mummy haha. i dont know how to call it. the gift of " ____ " something la. but i want to affirm jess for being the least self-centered, most caring person. i believe that she really has a heart put out for other people. that she can like. step up to show her immediate care and concern for anybody. god has given her a very giving heart, so praise god (:

okay another person. justin sim! he is ultra blessed in worship. and when he leads in reflection, its the most heartfelt and god-led that i ever felt. through him, i truly understand what it means and how it shows when you offer yourself up to god to lead through your actions (: so while he can give v good worship and really touch your heart, i think god has given him humility and subservience. to make himself small and give himself up for god. many of us have these "gifts" la, but justin shows his through worship (:

i THINK that through all these years, swee can discern very well, which is part of the reason why we have grown so much as a community! sometimes i always look to him as a leader in this community, and even though he mumbles, when he offers what he says ( maybe its the concentrated look on his face ) most of it is truly led by the spirit. like theres a different aura when he speaks! haha so affirm him for that (:

last person want to affirm. kris! cos when i emo and angst in ns, i will msg her. and i think its quite sian to listen to an nsman bitch about army again and again. so anyway, thank you for taking me through my first 3 weeks of ns life (: thank god for you!

okay im sorry i didnt really do this the way that i wanted to, cos its hard when im not there and write it out clearly. but i promise i will pray more! when i see ya'll in 2 weeks time, i promise i will have discerned more about mine and everybody's gifts

okay. love! poey :D
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