Challenging. I think I’ve been in two minds about challenging others for quite some time now. On one hand, I know it needs to be done so that people can grow; on the other, I know that a lot of sensitivity is required because there is a very fine line between judging and challenging. And we often feel judged when people challenge us. It’s not that they are actually judging us; but we feel judged all the same because of our pride. And for most parts, I have erred on the side of sensitivity because I didn’t want to hurt people’s feelings by causing them to feel judged.

So you can see that there are two parties to challenging – (1) the one challenging; and (2) the one being challenged. And then there are three types attitudes that (1) can take:

(a) He challenges because he judges;

(b) He doesn’t challenge because he doesn’t want to judge or make (2) feel like they are being judged; and

(c) He challenges because he knows that even though (2) might feel that he is being judged, he cares for (2) enough to risk (2) thinking that (1) is being judging.

So (c) is clearly the most loving attitude to take. The problem is that as (2), we often feel that (1) is taking the attitude of (a) when he is actually taking on the attitude of (c).

Ok sorry I know that I’m being really cerebral here. The point I’m trying to make is, cut my pb some slack cos he loves all of yall very much. Haha! No but seriously, I think as the ones being challenged, we need to swallow our pride and know that our community challenges us because they love us.

As for the ones challenging, we need to be clear in our hearts that we must love first, then challenge the person, because we want what’s best for that person. Then, sensitivity and gentleness will come naturally, because we do everything in love.

- Mel