Hello Loggers,

Yes! I am here to talk about Saint Bern’s too. As you know from the posts below explains clearly that St Bern’s was really an awesome experience for the whole service team and the people who experienced it. God worked in my life quite a bit during this camp. Okay background information, before St. Bern’s Camp I was really struggling with God, my SOW relationship with God was lost. During SOW and after it I had a really intimate relationship with God but during November as I reflected I didn’t know where that relationship faded into. I struggled to see God in my life; I felt God wasn’t alive in my life anymore. Totally sad.

Anyway, when camp group list came out I was my group’s IC and this is maybe my second time being camp IC. The last time I was camp IC it was with 2 experienced people but this time I was camp IC with one person who has never been a facil and someone with not very much experience either. I was too busy with assignments and essays till the week before camp till I realized “Shit I am not prepared for this”. I was desperate to prepare myself during the last week so I tried to go for daily mass every day. I knew that I had to make an honest and good confession too. On Wednesday, I ended school at 11 and I rushed to Novena Church before lunch time mass to go for confession. I rushed there to beat time and I reached there at 11:30 with at least 8 people already queuing up and confession hasn’t even begun and I thought to myself “Nooo! This cannot be happening!!” then I just stood in the line waiting. Then it struck me that I wanted to go for confession because I had to rather then I needed too. I also knew that I wasn’t in the right disposition. So I decided to get out of the queue, sat down on a pew, took out my phone and searched for an examination of conscience. Then as I read the examination of conscience, I realized the sinner I was and the mercy I needed from God. After about 10 minutes of journaling, I got back to the queue which was even longer and the priest had finally arrived and I doubted if I could make it but I just stood there anyway reflecting. As the queue got shorter, fear arose in my heart. I feared the priest will scold me or judge me but I just told the God I am going to go in trusting that he is the only one present in that confessional. I made it in and it was one of my best confessions so that was really good. I also fasted for the camp in school this time, and when I saw my friends eating I told God I wanted to eat but I will sacrifice the hunger as the hunger the participants will have for him during the camp. Hence, this is the preparation period and I felt I entered camp prepared “OK” but still fearful.

The camp itself was a little scary. My group suddenly had an extra guy as I entered camp and that meant more work for me and my co-facil and if there was any problematic guy I would have to handle him and I was just scared. But somehow, God made me fit with my group pretty well and it was pretty good. The first night we had our first proper session which was about “Our identity”. In that session, Celine the session presenter decided that we will have a time of ministering and like as I prayed silently with the first 2 participants and I didn’t sense anything but the last person the guy whom I was not going to do touch time with because me and my co-facil divided 2 guys each and he wasn’t under me had to be the one I had to sense something and it was this burden and hurt and I felt afraid again after feeling it. Then again, God challenged me to reach out to him so I took over him and yeah God did work so I praise God J

Last paragraph already! Thank you for reaching this point. So second day I was supposed to do testimony for Jude’s session but my brother overshot his time and forgot my testimony so I was like okay I don’t have to do testimony. I just enjoyed games which were after his session. Thereafter we had recon session and this time I sat inside and throughout the whole session I decided to pray with my SOW cross and rosary so I just prayed and sang along with the songs. I saw God move gently and I was quite happy. Here is where the devil doesn’t want me to be pleased with God and has to test me. The boy I mentioned above came back from confession and he was super closed, moody and a little angry. I told God”Why??????” and my hope sank. Then we were going to have night session that night and my brother and Michelle come up to me and say that they are putting my testimony at night session and I agreed but with fear crippling me in my heart. Testimony for night session where participants have never encountered God was scary to me. I just decided to flow with the spirit. We had spiritual preparation for the facils and I was so tired I told God I needed strength and he filled me with strength but I was still doubtful that God was going to work anything that night; I thought that they are not opened enough. Long story short, testimony went okay I guess and night session went amazingly well. When I heard the testimonies, I felt God dancing in my heart telling me he just stepped on all my doubts and proved me wrong. That night, I was affirmed that for God truly anything is possible and that he is an extremely faithful God.

I end of with the phrase which I relate to for this camp! “I Stand in Awe of Jesus” and something my brother shared that night which I will cling onto for the rest of my life.

“Since you have said that “Yes” to Jesus today, you are his property now and he has this seal on you. From now you are his, and he will guard you with his life” Brother Jude David

Jesus Loves You Outrageously,

Greg