Sunday, March 04, 2012
lenten redemption
nar pha took half day today. so i was forced to go back with my family after 9am mass. force is the right word, because in my heart i was unwilling. there was no other choice. i have expended all other alternative plans. i felt like a little rascal throwing a tantrum because i couldnt get what i wanted. i was so angry because i felt my precious time with log was being taken, snatched away. it doesnt help that i've promised to make it back for friday sharings but nv have time. of course i had to hide it so that my mom wouldnt feel bad. but when she made me walk to 2 coffeeshops to get fried rice for lunch and both were closed, i lost it. i stomped home and man, was i fuming mad, with one of those major headaches one would get from suppressing anger :/ when i opened the door i was ready to burst into tears. but no, suppress you idiot, i was the able-bodied one. then she chided me for being half-hearted and her self-pitying words tumbled out. then i snapped 'just let me be angry and furious, and it'll go away after a while' and immediately it left and i was sorry. the rest of the day was spent sleeping/lazing, which was good since i hadnt had enough the whole week. god is good. so yes, you wont see me every first week of the month. it still sucks. but i guess if i learn something from it, it wont be in vain.
lenten redemption
nar pha took half day today. so i was forced to go back with my family after 9am mass. force is the right word, because in my heart i was unwilling. there was no other choice. i have expended all other alternative plans. i felt like a little rascal throwing a tantrum because i couldnt get what i wanted. i was so angry because i felt my precious time with log was being taken, snatched away. it doesnt help that i've promised to make it back for friday sharings but nv have time. of course i had to hide it so that my mom wouldnt feel bad. but when she made me walk to 2 coffeeshops to get fried rice for lunch and both were closed, i lost it. i stomped home and man, was i fuming mad, with one of those major headaches one would get from suppressing anger :/ when i opened the door i was ready to burst into tears. but no, suppress you idiot, i was the able-bodied one. then she chided me for being half-hearted and her self-pitying words tumbled out. then i snapped 'just let me be angry and furious, and it'll go away after a while' and immediately it left and i was sorry. the rest of the day was spent sleeping/lazing, which was good since i hadnt had enough the whole week. god is good. so yes, you wont see me every first week of the month. it still sucks. but i guess if i learn something from it, it wont be in vain.
i can do all things through christ who strengthens me - phi 4:13
von.
1 Comments:
<3!
-jes
